


Under Fire

by sh_wright890



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: "But I love him daddy!", Buckle up, Demisexual Characters, F/M, Genderfluid Character, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Jean is basically the little mermaid, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Physical Abuse, Prince!Jean, Royalty, Sorry Not Sorry, This is probably going to get really emotional, i'm funny, mermaid!au, my attempt at a slow build, not really - Freeform, polyamorous
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-05-16 11:21:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 26,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5826595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sh_wright890/pseuds/sh_wright890
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean Kirchstein lives in a prison masked as a palace. It's his whole life--all he's ever known. And as far as the world knows, he hardly exists. But one night he manages to escape for awhile, and he meets Marco, a suspiciously nice merman. He doesn't think much of it, but as they meet repeatedly, he learns Marco's dark secret, one that Marco would rather go to the grave with than have others know. But you don't always get what you wish for when you're constantly under fire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Freckled Stranger

Sneaking out was probably the dumbest idea I've had in a long time. It was dark, it was cold, and I had just gotten done with a politics lesson, which always left me in a bad mood, and a bad mood meant impulsive. I wasn't so stupid that I didn't, at least, grab a cloak. I mean come on. It was getting closer to the cold season, and I was always--I mean _always_ \--cold.

I stuck my head out the window and looked in both directions. I have been timing the guards for quite some time now, and I knew I had about a three-minute window to get my tail down and against that wall. Easier said than done since it was so fucking far away. You'd think my family would've chilled out when they were building this place, but no.

I waited until the moment was right before darting out and swimming as fast as I could to the wall. I counted in my head how many seconds it took me to get there.

_One… Two… Three…_

It took me a grand total of two and a half minutes to get there. A record, really. I've been practicing a lot, and I was glad it paid off.

I pressed my back against the wall. A wall was pretty obnoxious if you asked me. We lived in water, for Poseidon's sake. It was more for show. It was hard to see the thin but strong wires arching over the entire structure on a normal day. Though some days when it was really bright out you could see them gleaming in the sunlight. I hated it. This place wasn't a dream, it was a nightmare. A prison.

And he wonders why I want to leave so much.

Getting past the guards at the gate was surprisingly easy. Too easy, though I didn't bother to stick around and see if it would get harder.

The exhilaration of being free made me swim faster. I was doing this. I was _really_ doing this. Yeah, I'd gotten just past the gate a few times, but I'd always turned back. I've only been out of the prison--I mean palace--a few times in my life, and I've always been surrounded heavily by guards. Nobody has ever seen my face before, so I wasn't worried about being seen. Still, I pulled the hood of my cloak up onto my head.

It didn't take long to get to the town square. It was surprisingly busy for being so late at night. Vendors were still all over, lined up along the thin, winding streets, shouting at people to buy their product. It made me glad that we had people to do the shopping for us.

And the _people_. They were everywhere. All of them were talking and drifting around. I'd never seen so many crammed into such a small space. I wasn't sure how they did this whole high-density thing. I jumped every time somebody brushed me by accident, which was literally all the time.

I gaped around at the buildings. They'd been added onto since the last time I'd seen them. I craned my head to look behind me, and I accidentally ran into somebody. I threw my hands up in front of me. “Oh my gosh, I'm sorry.”

He shrugged and went about his way. I was genuinely surprised. If it had happened to me when I had guards, this guy would be at the wrong end of a crossbow.

It was all amazing and new and _exciting_ until…

Oh no. Oh God _no._ Fucking guards.

I ducked my head down and pulled the hood around my face more. I couldn't catch a break, though I did know that they'd be here. Something my dad said about the people being less likely to do anything stupid when they think they're being monitored or something. Blah, blah, blah.

I guess I hadn't pulled my hood down fast enough because one spotted me. He seemed to double take. _Of course,_ he knew who I really was. I backed up and ran into somebody else. Being raised with manners, I turned around to apologize to the person.

He was staring past me when I looked at him. His eyes flickered from behind me to right at my face. For a second, I thought I saw fear, but whatever it was was quickly replaced by concern. “Are you running from them?”

I stiffened. “What makes you say that?”

His eyes flickered again. “Intuition.” He scratched at his eyebrow. “Do you… need a place to hide out for a moment?”

I scoffed. “No, tha--” I began, but I was interrupted when I turned around and saw the first guard nudge the one next to him. They both turned to look at me, and the second one seemed just as surprised as the first one did.

“You sure?”

I whipped back around. I didn't have much of a choice, did I?

“Get me out of here.”

He nodded and turned around. “Follow me.”

I did. He kept up a brisk pace. I didn’t look back even though I wanted to. Badly. But I wasn’t about to make it even more obvious that I was the _fucking prince._ No way. Nobody knew who I was, and I wasn’t about to jeopardize that.

We darted through the streets, taking the lesser-used roads and turning often. It wasn’t long before I started getting dizzy. Now I was really regretting this decision. I didn’t know this man. For all I knew he was getting me lost, so he could kill me!

I pulled my cloak around me tighter. I didn’t need this shit.

It was eight more turns--but who was counting?--before he finally looked in either direction down the street and opened the door, ushering me inside. I warily entered and followed him up the steeply slanted hall to the second floor, then the third, fourth. Finally, we ended up on the second floor from the top--the sixth level. There was only one door for each level. That made sense, seeing as how the apartments were narrow but deep and long.

I dropped my hood when I entered and pulled it around me tighter. It was fucking cold in here. I was tempted to go outside--it was warmer there.

“Perseus,” I muttered.

He looked at me sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, it... gets cold. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s... fine.”

He cleared his throat and played with the handle of the net bag that I didn’t notice he had. I saw what looked like muscle shells in it, but there was only four or five. _Why so little?_

“I’m gonna...” He gestured down the hall and left before I could say anything.

I sighed, unsure of what to do. As it was, I was loitering awkwardly by the door. I cast my gaze around the room. I was in a small living room. And when I said small, I meant narrow, but it stretched a long ways back. A couch was flush against one of the walls, and there was a thin table parallel to it. Above the couch was a set of built in shelves with a meager amount of books in it. Across from the couch was a fireplace.

Obviously, we couldn’t start a real fire under water--this wasn’t some sort of dreamland where anything was possible. We usually used these bug things that gave off heat and light like nobody’s business. We called them fireflies, but these actually deserved to be called fireflies, unlike those bugs the humans called “fireflies” or “lightning bugs”. To get them to light up, all you had to do was feed them. Seriously. And you didn’t have to give much. They loved seaweed, but they ate anything you could give them. They lived a really long time if you took care of them, and you could buy them from the marketplace--or so I’d heard about the latter.

Upon closer inspection, there were no fireflies in the fireplace. Well, that explained why it was so cold in here. And dark. The only light was coming from the windows. I turned my back to his living room and pressed my face to the glass. The marketplace seemed to have cleared up considerably, but now there were several guards meandering and looking around surreptitiously. I groaned. Getting home was gonna be a bitch.

I turned back around and made my way to the couch, perching on the edge of it. I tried to relax and slouch but found that I was unable. Palace life was ingrained into me too much, I guess.

“You have a fireplace but no fireflies,” I commented when the guy came out of the door he disappeared in. It was set in the wall just past the arm of the couch.

“I don’t have any. I wouldn’t be able to take care of them.”

I wasn’t stupid. The fireflies only needed the crumbs you didn’t eat, and they only needed it every couple of meals. If he couldn’t even give them crumbs...

“Oh. I... didn’t think before I spoke. My apologies.”

“It’s fine.” He waved me off and leaned back against the fireplace. “What’s your name?”

The question was polite enough--this was what was called small talk?--but I stiffened even more than I already was. The general public already knew my name. It hadn’t been mentioned very much, but it was out there, and I had no way of knowing if he knew my name.

Another part of me told me I was being irrational. The wasn’t the only person in the ocean with “Jean” for a name. I really needed to get over myself.

“What’s yours?” I asked suspiciously.

He fidgeted. “Marco.”

I pursed my lips. “Jean.” I stuck my hand out. He placed his hand in mine, and I shook it stiffly. Despite my harsh demeanor, he smiled warmly. I pulled my hand away and set my joined fingers in my lap. “Why did you help me?”

He shrugged. “You looked like you needed some help.”

I remembered the way he was looking at the guards, and the fear. Did he think they were after him too? “You sure know how to get away from them.” My voice obviously hinted to the fact that I knew more than he was letting on.

“It isn’t hard,” he replied as if I were an idiot. I bristled. “What were you running from anyway?”

“I wasn’t running away from them.” He raised an eyebrow. The wheels in my brain started turning. “I just like the play pranks on them is all. And they know me.” It wasn’t a lie. Every since I was younger I loved messing with them. They were all so stuffy and formal. I hated it. So I would capture little guppies and shove them down their shirts and watch them squirm. It was funny as hell. What could I say? There wasn’t much to do other than classes.

“Pranks,” he repeated, sounded doubtful.

“Yes, pranks. What about you? Why are you all skittish?”

He shifted around some more. “Why would you...?” He trailed off when he saw my _I am not falling for this bullshit_ face. “I... don’t like the guards. They just make me nervous. They used to pick on me and the rest of my family when I was younger. I mean, it wasn’t uncommon, but I just... don’t like them.”

I nodded. I vaguely remembered there being cases of guards picking on some of the commoners, especially when they lived on the outskirts of town--the lower class citizens. Thankfully, the guards were fired as soon as father found out.

My train of thought was interrupted by the smell of food. My stomach, and I regretted not eating before I came. Marco seemed to hear it. “You want something to eat? I have a few muscles if you want them.”

I shook my head. “I don’t need charity.” My voice was sharper than I’d meant it to be.

He seemed to recoil. Oh my fuck, where were my manners. I could see the obvious hurt in his eyes. “I-I didn’t mean it like that. I--”

“No, no. I’m sorry. That was a dick thing to say. No, thank you. I don’t need anything to eat. I can get something when I get home.”

“O-okay.”

 _Speaking of home..._ “I... should probably get going. Thank you for your hospitality. It was much appreciated.” I stood and took off my cloak before slinging it over the back of the couch.

“What are you doing?”

My hand hovered over the doorknob. I looked back at him. Light hit his eyes in a way that I could now tell they were brown. A very deep brown, but not dark necessarily. “Sell it. And buy some God damned fireflies. It’s colder than the Arctic in here.”

He smiled a little. “Thank you.”

I left right after that, partially regretting my decision to leave my cloak. Now, I was cold, and I had no cover. _Shit._


	2. Stay

Let me tell you, getting home was a helluva chore. I was lucky the guards were picked for their size and not their brains. I stuck to the shadows--easy considering the fact that the path lamps were few and far between, and there wasn’t a commoner’s soul in sight. The hard part was figuring out where to go. Marco lived right in the center of town, but it seemed like he lived farther out due to the roundabout way he went home.

I was about to give up and hide in a dumpster when I finally realized that I was on the path that led straight to the palace. I wasted no time in darting up the path to the palace and sliding through my secret escape hole. I didn’t bother to check for guards--this late at night they just stayed at the palace entrances instead of patrolling--as I swam as fast as I could to my window.

I have never been more ecstatic to see my bed. I flopped backward on it, my heart pounding, adrenaline running through my system. Wow. I _did_ it. And _Poseidon_ did it feel amazing.

My door burst open. “Oh my Poseidon, you are _so stupid_!” and irate voice growled. I sat up. Eren stormed in with clenched fists and stared at me. Armin followed after him and shut the door behind them. He meekly stood beside Eren as Eren ranted. I stopped listening after his first exclamation.

Eren and Armin had been my assistants since the three of us were old enough to talk. Their parents had worked in the palace apparently, but when they were about five or six, my father offered to let the parents go free if they left their kids. The bastards actually accepted. Being the only other person that was even remotely close to their age, they were lumped in with helping me out. Levi and Mom raised them since my father wouldn’t have anything to do with them after gaining ownership of them.

Armin had always been mild and meek. The buffer between me and Eren. Eren and I did not get along at all for a good long while. He had a nasty temper, and I wasn’t much better. We still aren’t. But after the first time father beat him for breaking a teacup, we realized we needed each other. Sure, we still fought like--what was the human expression?--cats and dogs, but at the end of the day, we had each other’s backs. Armin too. There was a silent agreement between me and Eren that we protected Armin at all costs.

Armin was a blond with pale skin and icy blue eyes--typical of those descended from the Arctic tribes. He was very thin and lanky but literally thick-skinned. He had never been to the Arctic areas though and was used to the temperate temperatures, so he still got cold like I did.

Eren was the total opposite. Being from descended from the tribes in the tropical areas, his skin was a much darker olive color with a shag of unruly brown hair. His eyes were the most amazing green color that I could get lost in...

Mentally I shook myself. We’d had a fling before. The three of us did. Kinda still are having that fling--I wasn’t sure what else to call it since we were in an official relationship. What could I say? We were together all the time, we had a close bond, and sometimes we just needed somebody to hold onto. Nobody was safe from my father, but when we were together it felt like we were, even if it was just for a little while. 

I tuned into his ranting again. “... and you’re being such a selfish _shit!_ We were worried sick about you. We looked _all over_. No note or anything.”

I looked at my bedspread shyly and ran my hand over, knowing just how to work him. “Is it really so bad to go out? I’ve never been past the gate before.” I looked back up at him with apologetic eyes. “You know that.”

Armin moved to be in Eren’s line of sight. “It’s not the big of a deal now. I mean, he’s here. That’s all that matters, right?”

Eren looked from me to Armin and back again. He sighed and closed his eyes, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Right, right.”

Armin relaxed and moved to settle down next to me. He rested his head on my shoulder. I reached up and automatically ran my fingers through his hair. Eren watched my hand move, and I held my other arm out away from my side, the invitation obvious. He almost sheepishly slunk over and settled against my other side. I pulled both of them closer and closed my eyes. This was what safe felt like. My two best friends on either side of me, warming me up inside and out.

Armin sighed softly and turned his head, so his forehead was resting against my neck, and I let him. He was fragile by no means, but he was sensitive and craved physical contact. Eren and I were okay most of the time, but Armin got literally weak if he didn’t have enough of it.

In my lessons a long ways back I was taught that the cold tribes stayed close to each other, figuratively and literally. It made sense since it was so damned cold all the time. But after being close to others for so long, they grew a physical need to be with another person. It was like they drew energy from each other and amplified it before giving it back or something like that. After I learned that, I made sure to give him hugs often. It was weird, but also really cool. I always felt better after holding him. I was glad he had Eren when I wasn’t around. They shared a room in the palace, and even though there were two beds, they preferred to sleep together.

Eren nudged his head up and pressed his nose to my cheek. I turned my head towards him, and he bumped our noses together. I knew I must’ve really worried him. He almost never showed such tender affection. He liked things to be rough and intense.

I turned my head more and let our lips brush together. He whimpered so softly that I almost didn’t hear him. Armin heard him too, and he reached across me to press a hand to Eren’s neck. He seemed to take comfort in that and relaxed.

“Stay,” I whispered. They both nodded. Armin pulled himself closer to me. I squeezed his waist. “Get under the covers.”

They both pulled back. Eren leaned back and pulled the blankets down. Armin scooted up the bed, pulling me with him, and we dove under the blankets. I rested on my back, and Armin crawled on top of me, settling his head on my chest. Eren followed soon after and tucked himself to my side. I pulled him closer.

_Safe._


	3. Fire Starters

“Jean.” Somebody shook me. “Jean, you have to wake up.”

I groaned and pulled a pillow over my face. Staying up so late last night was a really bad idea. I’ve had to stay up late before to study for a test, but I’d never stayed up this late before. It must’ve been oh five hundred hours before I even got home.

I was prodded in the side, and I pulled the covers up more, shivering in the process. The mornings were always chilly. I guess I took after my mom in that way. She was always cold too.

A few seconds later, a warm body was pressed against mine. A small sigh escaped my lips, and I moved closer. The person wrapped their arms around me. “You really did scare me yesterday,” Eren said, tugging on a few strands of my hair.

I grunted.

“I’m serious. At least leave a note next time, would you?”

Despite being the taller one, I curled up and let my head rest against his collarbone as he rubbed my back. I’d always felt like these moments with Eren were super special. He wasn’t one to be gentle and touchy feely. I got these times a lot with Armin, and it wasn’t like I didn’t enjoy those--he was like a little heater, and I thoroughly enjoyed curling up around him--but being with Eren in such a tender way... It reminded me of how much I was being let in and of how much the three of us needed each other.

*You have to get up,” Eren said after a couple moments. I flapped my tail against his. He grinned and slapped me back. I sat up and looked at him, my mouth agape. He raised his chin and looked back at me like _What are you gonna do about it?_

I leaned in close, close enough that he actually pulled his head back some to be able to see me clearly. I reached up and brushed my fingers over the gills at the base of his neck. They were on either side and tinged a slight green color on the edges.

All mermaids had them. We breathed in through our noses and mouths like humans, but the water gets expelled on the way down before it gets to our lungs. Our lungs weren’t quite the same as a human’s. They were made to be able to deal with a ton of water, so if our gills didn’t get all the water out we’d be okay.

His eyes fluttered shut, and his head tilted to the side, allowing more access. It was such a small movement that I almost missed it.

But I didn’t.

I leaned forward and nudged my nose against his jaw--a request of sorts. He tilted his head further back, granting permission. I skimmed my lips along his gills, and they fluttered due to his already faster-than-normal breathing. I wasted no time in kissing a line from his ear to his gills. My tongue slid over the edges of the four fluttering, overlying flaps. Knowing it unhinged him, I sucked lightly on them.

His response was immediate. His hands came up, and he gripped my hair. “P-Perseus,” he moaned, only spurring me on. I started leaving copious amounts of kisses all up and down the slender column of his throat. I pushed him back on the bed as my lips found his, and we kissed sloppily.

 _This_ was Eren. Hot, messy kisses with lots of hair pulling, lip biting, and shameless rutting. There was a huge difference between the tender Eren and the “normal” Eren, but at the same time, there was no difference at all. There weren’t two or three different Erens. There was only one. Only one beautiful, complex boy.

I felt pressure on my back as if somebody was lying on top of me. Eren peeked past me and grinned. _Make that two boys._ _Well, one boy and another boy most of the time._

Another reason why we’ve always had a soft spot for Armin was because he was feminine a lot of the time, more delicate, and it wasn’t until we were almost thirteen that he told us that he was genderfluid. He’d seemed really nervous and anxious when he was telling us as if he thought we would make fun of him or something.

We didn’t, of course, but we weren’t sure what that meant, so I made sure to snag some books from the library to look at with Eren. Turns out it meant that he could be a she or a they--female, agender, etc.--depending on the situation or current mood. He could change once every few months or ten times in as many minutes. I remembered Eren and I agreeing that that was actually pretty cool. It was different at first, asking which he was at what time, but it wasn’t long before we caught onto the subtle shifts in attitude and demeanor, and we didn’t have to ask at all within six months.

Eren and I slowed our kisses until they were deep and slow. We exchanged a few of those before I turned my head to look over my shoulder.

Armin was on his belly on my back, staring intently at the two of us. “Don’t stop on my account,” he said quietly, but his voice was more intense than normal. I guess Eren and I were getting to him.

I smiled at him, attempting to look coy, but it ended up coming out more as a seductive grin. I noticed his gaze was on my kiss-swollen lips. My gaze strayed to his, and I was entranced as I watched his pink tongue absently traces the edges of his teeth past his slightly parted lips.

One thing about Armin that certainly wasn’t fragile by any means was his teeth. If the hair, eyes, and paleness didn’t make it glaringly obvious enough for you that he was Arctic, just get him upset or... riled up. When people from the cold regions need to, they can make their teeth sharp. Razor sharp. The Arctic merpeople are more primitive than others in our species. They liked to hunt and kill for fun. Their teeth were designed for just that--evolution and whatnot. When they needed it, they could make them sharp as all hell and slice and dice anything.

Armin was still learning to control this. He was able to pull them out when he needed them--which was never, but it was really cool to see, so Eren and I used to constantly beg him to show us--but at certain times, they sharpened even though he didn’t need them. Like when any of us were all over another.

In a more recent development--over the past four hundred years or so--the Arctic people evolved to need blood in their diet to stay at their best. Without it, they got sick often, moved slow, were tired all the time, irritable and hostile, weak, pale--well, paler than they already were; a sickly pale as if their blood couldn’t get to all the places it was supposed to go--and they became impulsive.

You know all the myths about vampires (who the hell can’t with _Twilight_ going around? I live at the bottom of the ocean, and even _I_ know about that. Cue the dramatic eye roll)? Those came from people that happened to stumble upon an Arctic merman or maid feeding--must’ve been terrifying to be honest. Armin was always careful and neat when he fed, but not all others were like that. Most just ripped their prey to shreds.

Anyway, that’s how vampire myths came to be. I don’t know what that whole bullshit was with the wooden stakes and garlic. Any creature, mythical or not, would die from getting _stabbed in the fucking heart_ with a wooden stake, and as for the garlic, your guess was as good as mine.

“A-Armin...,” came a choked whisper from beneath me. I tore my gaze away and looked down to find Eren as enthralled as I was.

I turned my attention back to Armin to find him _still_ tracing his teeth. His tongue passed over a particularly sharp tooth. A small cut opened up, and I watched the blood. My head moved of its own accord, and I pushed my lips against his.

His eyes fluttered shut, and he kissed back. We started shifting around until we were facing each other. My arms wrapped around his waist as his rested on either side of my head. Our kisses were as rushed, but they were just as meaningful--and hot, if I do say so myself.

There was suddenly a trail of heat trailing down my neck, and I moved, making my neck wide open for Eren to kiss messily. He took turns between me and Armin, leaving kisses wherever he could reach. I tasted the tang of blood and felt a pain in my lip.

“Armin,” I whispered, pulling back a fraction. “You can't.” Armin needed to feed about once every two weeks. Eren and I were the main sources of his blood, and most of the palace knew that. On bad days, Father would get really mad when he saw them, but most of the time he let it slide. Still, I didn’t want to alert my father to what I was doing behind closed doors, so Eren, Armin, and I decided to keep their biting kink towards me to an absolute minimum.

“I-I know. I'm sorry,” he said, his voice breathy and obviously _not_ sorry, and he went back to kissing me again, greedily sucking the blood out of my lip. And _Poseidon_ it was hot the way his primitive side came out. It was hard to believe that Armin could be super shy and innocent looking one moment and _like this_ the next.

We were a hot mess. A really hot mess. Like I wasn't cold anymore. Far from it, actually.

There was a sharp knock on the door, and we all sprung apart. Eren rested on the bed on my right while Armin was on my left. We were all breathing heavily. I grinned and almost laughed at how much of a mess we were. Eren smiled along with me, and Armin was all shy again. Eren and I dove for him, showering his face with kisses. He all but fucking _giggled_ at the attention, and he would’ve too if there wasn’t somebody on the other side of the door.

There was another sharp knock, and I rolled my eyes. Armin, never being one to keep people waiting or make them upset, answered the door after Eren got off the bed too. It was Levi. Mentally, I sighed. Usually seeing Levi meant that my father wanted me.

Armin moved out of the way, and Levi entered, hovering near the door. “Your father wishes to see you,” he said, looking at me with those gray eyes of his. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. He’d perfected his poker face years ago. In the couple times I convinced him to teach me to play the human poker game with a deck of cards I’d found, he beat me every single time.

This time, I let the sigh come out. Great. Just what I wanted. Watching him beat the shit out of my mom over breakfast or in his study.

Levi looked about as thrilled as I did--he wasn’t ever thrilled about anything anyway, though, so who was I kidding?--and headed out the door. I followed, shooting a lingering glance over my shoulder at the boys. Armin was smiling encouragingly, and Eren was grinning--attempting to look carefree--but the worry in his eyes ruined the effect.

I turned back around and just kept going. It was better not to focus on them because if I did, I would think of all the times my father beat them--half the time I was present--and how I was unable to stop him. My fault. I couldn’t protect them. _You’re worse than him_.

I shook my head. _Focus on something else..._

The first thing to come to mind was Levi. He was silent as ever, making his way down the hall purposefully with me in tow. I knew he'd skin me alive if he knew, but I felt bad for him. He's been here since I was born when he applied to work here, but now he was stuck. My father forced him to stay by threatening to hurt--and probably kill--his fiancée. She was a sea witch that also worked for him.

It didn't take long to reach the dining room. At the doorway, Levi turned to me and bowed slightly. His eyes gave away no emotions, but I liked to think that he was sympathetic towards me. I was probably just fooling myself, but dealing with my father’s cycles of violence followed by periods of calm gave me whiplash hard enough that it was easy to feel like Levi knew how I felt.

I silently swam inside and sat at the table. My eyes skimmed over Mom--she was sitting right in front of me--and I noticed that she was thankfully free of bruises. Father wasn’t in the dining room yet--which I was also grateful for--but I was sure he’d be here momentarily.

Mom smiled at me warmly. “Hello, Jean.” Her chin dropped to her palm, elbow resting on the table, and she looked… really young in that moment. “How was your night?”

I smiled too. “Good, thank you.”

She nodded. “What did you do? More studies?”

I immediately thought of sneaking out. Did she know somehow? Did the guards tell her? _Does father know?_

I shook myself mentally. I was careful. There was no way she’d seen me sneak out. Unless she went by my room, something she did often when she was bored or when Father was in a particularly extreme dick mood which was often enough. But Eren and Armin would’ve been there to cover for me even if they were freaking out themselves.

 _Eren and Armin._ There was also that from last night and this morning. I really wanted to tell Mom about them, and I felt guilty for keeping it from her, but there was nothing I could do, really. Polyamorous relationships--polygamy, bigamy, whichever term you preferred--were just as common, if not more common than monogamy among us merpeople. Not to mention that there was an equal mix of bisexuality, homosexuality, and heterosexuality among us.

Those reasons weren’t a problem. My problem was the fact that I was the prince. Me. I was the problem. Royalty were expected to marry at least one person of the opposite sex and reproduce, so the royalty could be passed down and kept in the same bloodline, which sounded pretty pretentious if you asked me. But there was nothing I could do. I couldn’t fight against several thousands of years of tradition.

At least not while I’m still a prince.

When I turn eighteen, I will be crowned king, and hopefully, I can change things. I couldn’t imagine giving Armin and Eren up for the world. If I couldn’t be royalty and have them at the same time, I’d choose them over the crown any day. Eren would be totally pissed. He wouldn’t want me to give my title up for him, but I know he’d understand still. And Armin would probably feel guilty, and then I’d feel bad, but I was sure we could all get over it in the future.

Again, that was a worst case scenario.

“Jean?” Mom asked, a look of concern on her face when I took too long to answer.

I shook my head and blinked several times. “I’m fine. Yeah, I had a lot of homework. I was up all night.”

She nodded knowingly. She’d had to do the same as me. As a commoner, she didn’t have very much money, and she put feeding her siblings and giving them an education over herself--her parents died when she was just fourteen. When she married my father, she decided to take the standard classes offered to us, and she studied hard. I heard from some of the staff that she went days without a wink of sleep sometimes. It paid off, though. She crammed almost ten years of work into three, and she had a Master’s in business and an Associate’s in Spanish _and_ one in French. The business helped father a lot since he wasn’t good at math at the best of times, and she also helped make business deals with other kingdoms easier since there didn’t have to be a translator.

Have I ever mentioned that my mom is amazing? Cause she is.

What was that saying about there being a woman behind every good leader?

We chatted for a little longer before father finally came in. We quickly finished our discussion (in Spanish, I might add. I was learning that and French too--what could I say? Mom was an inspiration. That and Eren was fluent in Spanish, Armin in French and German) and remained silent as he sat down at the head of the table. As if sensing his presence, some of the servants brought out the food and set it on the table. Mom quietly thanked them, but other than that and the sound of plates touching the table, not another sound was made.

Dad cleared his throat, and I thought I saw Mom flinch. I gritted my teeth. I hated how he made her so scared and skittish; a mere washed down reflection of _her_.

It didn’t always used to be like this. They used to be a quite beautiful couple if I do say so myself. He married Mom when they were young--she was twenty and he was twenty-two. They met soon after he was crowned king. He was visiting a kingdom really far away--in a whole different hemisphere, even--when he saw her working one of the stalls in the marketplace, and, well, the rest is history.

They were married within a year, and I was born three years later. It was pretty much perfect until I was seven. It was the first time I’d seen them fight. Like _really_ fight. I didn’t remember much about what was said as I cowered in the doorway, unable to take my eyes off them, but I remember Dad being red in the face, and Mom was obviously crying and begging with him.

Four months later he launched an--unsuccessful, I might add--attack against the fire makers.

Fire makers, or fire starters, were a rare tribe of merpeople that could pull oxygen out of the water and form it into a bubble before heating it up enough that the oxygen would catch fire. Even though they could do this, they were the most peaceful of us all, preferring to keep to themselves. Apparently one of them had started a fire somewhere with malicious intent, and it scared the people, so Father sent a group after them and killed them all.

I’m not saying that what he did was right because it wasn’t. You don’t have to kill a _whole group of people_ because one was a bad egg.

Anyway, their fights increased in frequency after that, and the night after the rebels first attacked was the first night he ever laid a hand on her. I wasn’t there for that, but I saw it the next morning at breakfast in the form of a bruise on her wrist that looked an awful lot like a hand.

We put food on our plates and started eating in dead silence. The tension was thick that it felt like I could drown in it.

Father put his knife down and looked at me with his piercing blue eyes.

I resisted the urge to fidget in my seat and shrugged. “Studies.”

He raised an eyebrow, and he popped a knuckle on his thumb, a telltale sign that he was upset about something. “What kind of studies involve leaving the safety of the palace?”

_How did he..?_

There was a malicious glint in his eyes. “Levi saw you leave, and I’m wondering just what you were thinking.”

Fuck. Out of all of the people to see me, it _had_ to be Levi. I didn’t blame him for being a snitch fish, what with being threatened no matter how good he was at his job. If I was in his position, I would’ve done the same.

“I...” I looked down at my plate. Nothing I said would make this better. “I just wanted to mingle with the commoners since I’m going to be ruling them some day.”

“Right, and what would’ve happened if you’d been taken?”

I looked up at him. “Nobody knows who I am. Pictures of me haven’t been released since the day I was born.”

“So? The real point is that I told you to forget about leaving. You are the heir.”

I clenched my jaw and decided not to say anything. It was better not to push my luck. Mom or one of the other servants would have to pay for it later if I did. “Yes, Father.”

He sat back in his chair, seemingly satisfied.

“Oh, Historia is leaving to come visit us tomorrow,” Mom piped up timidly.

I nodded. She was my fiancee in the arranged marriage between myself and another kingdom. I still wasn’t sure why I had an arranged marriage when he didn’t, but I didn’t dare argue about it. We were good friends, so it wasn’t like I was going to be with a stranger.

The meal went on like this, Dad and I skirting around topics while Mom tried to help ease the tension. It was quite exhausting, really, and I didn’t know how she did this every single day. Most days I was allowed to eat on my own or with my tutor, but some days, like today when I was in trouble for something, I had to eat with them.

I left as soon as I was able and went back to my room. Neither of my boys were there when I got there, but they left a note on the bed stating that they’d be back as soon as they finished their chores.

I sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. I didn’t have to go to any classes today, so I reclined on my bed and stared at the ceiling, and before I knew it, I was asleep.


	4. I'm Sorry

I didn’t wake up until sometime in the middle of the day. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, shaking off the remnants of a fuzzy dream. I stretched and looked around to find my boys still gone. Getting up, I made my way to the seat at the window and pushed the pillows off of it that Armin somehow managed to artistically arrange. I curled up and pulled a blanket around me, staring over the wall at the bright lights that shone from the city.

I sighed. _I gotta go again,_ I thought. _And soon_.

I knew it was a stupid idea, but my mind kept repeating the thoughts over and over again. I _had_ to go again. I didn’t want to be trapped in the palace, in this _prison_. I knew for certain that I’d go crazy if I didn’t get to go out again before my coronation in six months.

I watched the guards swim lazily along the wall and sneak drinks of something-or-other when they thought nobody was looking. And they wonder why most of them get fired for sleeping or fucking around on the job.

I don’t know how long I sat there, but the vast blue of the ocean was dark--well, darker since it was hard for sunlight to get down here--when I finally realized I was still staring. I got up, shaking my head to clear out stray thoughts and sat on my bed. I snagged a book I was supposed to be reading for my classes and settled down with it.

I wasn't even a full page into it when there was a tap on my door. I marked my page and set the book down, sitting up. “Come in.”

The door opened, and Mikasa poked her head in. Even though I made sure to look at her the same way as all the other people I saw, I wanted to openly stare. She was a quite beautiful mermaid with really dark hair that swept over her shoulders and gray eyes that looked like they knew all the dark corners of your soul. She was quite dainty looking, but I knew from experience that she could wield a bucket--she could _hit so hard,_ fucking _ouch_.

It was a silly crush I’d had since we were teenagers--her parents were deserters too--and I never acted on it. I liked the idea of her, but I didn’t actually like her if that made sense. And besides, I had something better. _Two_ something betters.

“You are wanted in the kitchen,” was all she said before she shut the door. One thing was for certain: she was a woman of few words.

I got up and stretched before making my way to the kitchen. Thankfully, I didn’t bump into anybody on the way there. The last thing I needed--and wanted--was to have another strained conversation with Father. Or Levi, for that matter. I wasn’t upset, but it would probably still be weird.

I pushed a door to the kitchen open carefully and poked my head inside. I saw a few figures preparing dinner. I slipped in and shut the door behind me, making sure to stay out of the way. Getting a knife to the side wouldn’t be a good thing, and knowing the head chef, it was highly plausible.

Speaking of head chef, where was she? She was the only one that would’ve called me down here.

“Sasha!” I called out, hoping she was close enough to hear me and not leave me here like an idiot.

My wish was granted, and she poked her head up from behind the counter. “Jean! It’s about time you showed your face around here. You skipped lunch.” She looked stern. “And I never heard a peep out of you as to why!”

I laughed and held my hands up. “Sorry, Sash. I guess I just lost track of time.”

She looked totally shocked. “How? Aren’t you hungry?”

Now that she mentioned it, I _was_ pretty hungry. Not enough for me to start trembling, but it was getting there. I smiled sheepishly at her. “Yeah.”

She pursed her lips and planted her hands on her hips. “And I suppose you want me to make you something for you to eat in here, so you don’t have to go to dinner alone again?”

I was sure that my smile was more shy than sheepish now. “Please?”

She stared at me for a few more moments before a small smile broke through. She shook her head and looked off to the side. “Every single time, boy.”

I hugged her briefly. She’d always had a soft spot for me even if she never admitted. She was like another mother to me. “Thanks, Sash. You’re the best.”

She grumbled and started on something that involved a giant ass knife that looked like it would be a better fit for the navy than in the kitchen. Sasha wielded it with grace, cutting up some sort of fish and putting it in a pan. She slipped a small bit of seaweed beneath the metal that the pan rested on, and the fireflies lit up, heating up the area around the island counter as well as cooking the fish.

I settled on the other side of the counter on a stool and watched her cook. She was pretty amazing, and she taught herself how to make everything. It was cool watching her since she got really into it. It was like nobody else was around when she got in her zone.

I chilled on the stool and watched her and the other cooks. We had a ton of people on staff from maids to guards to tutors and everything in between. It wasn’t surprising that we had food delivered here every week.

Sasha was just finishing up when one of the doors behind me burst open, hitting the wall. We both turned to look, and to my surprise, there was Eren, red-faced and wild-eyed.

I blinked at him. “Eren, what are you--”

“No!” he interrupted me. “You don’t get to talk.” He stalked up and jabbed a finger in my direction. “What the hell? Couldn’t you have waited for one of us to get to your room before leaving?”

I furrowed my eyebrows. “I... Eren, why are you so upset?”

Somehow, his face contorted further with anger. “ _Why am I so upset?_ Maybe I’m upset because _somebody_ likes to leave without telling us where the fuck he is! I thought you left again!”

Oh. _Oh._ That. Shit. “Eren, I’m sorry. I didn’t--”

He threw his hands up in the air. “Whatever. Thanks for _leaving a note_.”

I got up off the stool and faced him. “ _Eren_. Would you listen for a moment? I’m sorry, okay? I forgot about... leaving last night, and I... I wasn’t thinking.”

He looked at me and gritted his teeth. “When do you ever?” Before I could say anything else to him, he turned around and left in a flurry of brown hair and green scales.

I was silent for a good twenty seconds. Sasha was the first to break the silence with a low whistle. “You left?”

It was another twenty seconds before I was able to convert my thoughts to words and string the words into sentences. “Y-yeah.” I sat back down slowly. “I left last night and came back late--I went into town finally--and they didn’t know where I was.”

She nodded, knowing exactly who the “they” was I was referring to. She knew about me, Armin, and Eren. It was soon after we’d started acting upon our emotions. We were all in the middle of a very sloppy make-out session when she tapped on the door and opened it. None of us were fast enough to pull away from each other, so, needless to say, it was a shock when she saw me pinned to the bed under Eren as he was leaving lazy kisses on my neck while Armin had one of my arms trapped above my head as our lips were locked.

We didn’t talk for almost two weeks after that, but she never told my parents. I guess she thought me fooling around with my assistants was a phase or something. When I finally got the courage to talk to her, it was super awkward, but she listened to what I had to say. We weren’t totally okay for another two months or so, but she promised to never tell my parents or anybody else if I didn’t want her to.

She’s a saint, I tell you.

I sighed. “I got excited and forgot to leave a note or something to let them know where I was, and it freaked them out.”

“Ah. So now they don’t trust you when it comes to not leaving the palace.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Hm. Maybe you should talk to him.”

I nodded. “I will when he cools off.”

The door behind me opened again, but this time, it was with much less force. I turned around again as Armin walked in. He smiled timidly. “Jean.”

I patted the stool next to me, and he--well, I could tell he was shifting to a she--sat next to me. I placed a hand on the back of her neck, and she let me. I rubbed little circles into her neck right above her gills, and she closed her eyes, tilting her head to allow me better access. I smiled faintly when she let out a soft sigh and closed her eyes.

Sasha set a plate in front of me with a sympathetic smile. “Thank you,” I told her, picking up a few pieces of fish and eating them.

She nodded. “I’ll give you two some room.” Then she shot me a pointed look that obviously meant _fix it._

“Hey, Armin,” I said once she was out of earshot.

She looked up at me with those pretty blue eyes. They looked a little red and puffy, and I realized it was because she’d been _crying._ “Yeah?”

I bit my lip. Shit. She was really making me feel bad. “I... I’m really sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I forgot about last night, and I...” I looked down. “Y-you know I can’t promise that I won’t ever do it again, cause we both know I’m an idiot, but I’ll try not to do it again.”

I looked at her, and she looked back, unblinking. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking, and it unnerved me. It wasn’t that she was transparent, but she was usually so open.

I rubbed the back of my neck and looked down again. I cleared my throat. “S-sorry.”

It was another couple seconds before I felt her hug my arm. I blinked several times and looked at her. “You’re my idiot,” she mumbled.

The relief was instant. I hugged her with my other arm and rested my cheek against her hair. She hugged me tighter. “You really scared Eren.”

I sighed. “I know. I didn’t mean to.”

“Of course you didn’t mean to. But I think you should go talk to him before he goes to bed.”

I kissed the top of her head. “I will. Do you know where he is?”

She nodded. “He’s in our room.” She pulled away a little bit a kissed my cheek. “Go on.”

I smiled a little. “I’ll come see you before I go to sleep, okay?”

“Okay.”

Knowing Sasha would be there to keep her company, I left in search of Eren. It wasn’t too hard to find him. He was still in their room when I knocked on the door and opened it. “Eren?” I said quietly.

He was on his back on the bed with an arm flung over his eyes. He showed no outward sign of noting that I’d entered other than a grunt.

I stood in the door awkwardly for a few moments and wrung my hands before I shut the door and made my way to the bed. I sat on the edge. It was actually two beds pushed together to make one big bed. The room wasn’t as big as mine, but it wasn’t a closet either. Father really did like the two of them, so they had a bigger room than the other people that lived here and worked.

I kept looking at him, and he lifted his arm a tiny bit to glance at me. When he saw that I was looking, he quickly put his arm back down and pretended that he hadn’t looked in the first place. If I wasn’t in such a bad situation I would’ve laughed at him for being silly.

But I was in shit. Deep shit.

I placed a hand on his tail and trailed my fingers up and down the smooth scales. They were a bright sea foam green that matched his eyes. The only difference, however, was that his scales were iridescent in the light. His eyes held their own light--fire--on the inside. His tail had various fins on the sides that were smooth and graceful. They were a translucent green, and they weren’t totally necessary for him to swim. They made him faster, yes, but they were mostly for show.

Merpeople from between the Tropic of Cancer and the Tropic of Capricorn were what the humans called sirens--and for a good reason. All merpeople were beautiful to an extent--we simply were better looking than humans, and all the humans we’ve ever encountered in history have agreed--but sirens were _gorgeous_. They could also sing and dance in a way that made it impossible to look away. They could control humans and other merpeople with their singing, but the few that led humans to their death all the time earned them a bad reputation.

Eren was a siren. He didn’t like using his singing to mess with other people’s heads, though. But he was still absolutely, stunningly beautiful.

I traced my fingers along the edge of one of his small fins, and he couldn’t hide his shudder. “M’still pissed,” he grumbled.

I sighed. “I know.” I continued to study his fins. They never failed to fascinate me. “I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to make you and Armin upset. I… wasn't thinking like always, and I…”

He sat up on his elbows and looked at me. His teeth were worrying with his bottom lip. He cleared his throat., and his eyes met mine. “No, it isn't your fault.” He looked down. “I overreacted.”

I nudged his tail, and he moved it over enough for me to sit down.  We were now sitting facing each other. My tail was drawn up to my chest, and my arms were around it. “I'm sorry for not telling you that I was leaving last night. I didn't think it through, I guess.” I felt a small twinge of hurt from repeating his earlier words.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I was wrong. You think things through more than me and Armin combined most of the time. I don’t know. I guess I just...”

I chewed on the inside of my lip. I could tell something was really bothering him. He may have a really bad temper, but there has to be something to set him off. Especially for him to go off at me. We didn’t fight very often anymore, and when we did, we always worked it out as soon as possible. And usually, it was something else that led up to it.

I scooted closer to him and ran my hand up and down his tail in what I hoped was a comforting manner. “What’s bothering you, cuttlefish?”

He glanced up for a moment at the use of his pet name. Eren was my cuttlefish, and Armin was my angelfish. He shook his head and clasped his fingers around the back of his head. “I don’t know,” he repeated, but there was a tautness to his body that made me think otherwise.

I looked at my fingers, the ones that were now rubbing circles into his scales. “I think you do,” I prompted gently. “You can tell me. I won’t make fun of you.” I looked back up at him.

He kept his gaze downcast for another few moments before he looked up timidly. “I thought you left.”

“I didn’t.”

“No. No, not like that. I thought you _left_ . I thought you were _gone_.”

I looked at him, my mouth slightly agape, but he wouldn’t look at me again. His hands fiddled with the edge of a pillow. My own hand stilled on his tail. What was I supposed to say to that? I was so stupid. Of _course_ he’d be insecure--his own parents deserted him.

I wanted to pull him into a hug, but I knew it wouldn’t be welcomed right now, so I opted for leaning forward and tilting his head up with my fingers. He didn’t fight me, but he kept his gaze downcast. “Eren Jaeger, look at me, please.” It took a few moments, but he did. “I’m not leaving you.”

“B-but how do you know? How do you know for certain that you aren’t going to leave me? Leave me here?”

Whenever I meet somebody, I try to think the best of them. Call it naivety or just plain stupidity. I’ve never thought that Eren’s parents were bad people, but I did think that they made some pretty shitty decisions. Now, those shitty decisions seemed so much worse than they did before. I still didn’t think that they were bad people, but I certainly didn’t think that they were good people either.

“How do you know you won’t leave me?” Eren prompted again.

I let my fingers slide from beneath his chin to his cheek, and I held him carefully, afraid that he might break. “I know that I won’t leave you because you are a part of me.”

“I don’t… I don’t understand.”

I smudged my thumb under his eye. “I’m not them. I couldn’t leave you even if I tried. You mean too much to me. If I didn’t have you, I wouldn’t be me. We’ve been together for so long that I don’t know how to be me without you.”

“So you’re staying with me out of necessity. Because you don’t know how to be independent.”

“No, no, no.” I let my hand travel to his hair. “I’m with you because I want to be. You make me feel more like myself.”

He stuck his bottom lip out. “You’re just repeating the same thing in different ways.”

“I know I am, but I mean it. I’m not going to leave you. You mean the world to me.”

He sniffed and seemed to think this over. “Okay,” he said finally.

I moved closer, leaned forward, and pressed our foreheads together, hoping that this would be okay with him. It was, and he leaned into me, closing his eyes and sighing softly. We stayed like that for a while, seeming to bounce strength off of each other. We still didn’t pull away from each other when we heard a door down the hall open and the sound of voices.

“What’s this about?” a female voice inquired. Hanji.

“I can’t tell, shitty glasses.” Levi. He was the only one that called her that, but I didn’t understand why he did if he loved her so much. They hadn’t even seen each other for over half a year.

“Why not? You’re the one that summoned me here. The least you could do is tell me _why_ I’m here.”

“I called on you for Erwin. He’s the one that wants to see you.” Their voices got louder as they got closer to our door. “He told me not to tell anybody why I brought you here.”

“I’m sure you can make an exception for me,” she said, but she sounded small.

“You know that I want to,” he said, and it sounded like they stopped right outside the door.

“Why?”

“Because it’s my job.”

“No, why do you stay here? We could leave. We could just run away and live together. I haven’t seen you in seven months, and we haven’t… been together for almost two years.”

“More than I needed to know,” Eren mumbled. I shushed him.

She went on, oblivious to the fact that we were eavesdropping.  “This isn’t a way to live. We’ve been engaged for over ten years, and you still won’t marry me.”

Levi’s voice was gentle. “I’m trying to keep you safe--you know that. The jobs I’m doing… they’ve gotten more dangerous over the years. The last thing I want is to get you involved in them.”

“I already am involved in them. What’s yours is mine and vice versa. I’m always going to be involved.” _Because I’m engaged to you,_ she didn’t say. The implication was clear.

I honest to Poseidon thought that he was going to break off their engagement right then and there, but he just sighed. “Let’s go.”

Their voices got quieter as they swam away, Hanji still trying to convince Levi to run away and him still trying to convince her that leaving would only put them in more danger.

Eren and I both sighed at the same time. “Why does Father always have to ruin everything?” I asked rhetorically.

He shrugged and pulled me closer. Now we were comforting each other. He knew that I hated how Dad had to meddle with everything. It was like nobody could be happy other than him. It was childish and ridiculous, and it made me want to scream. Couldn’t he just leave people alone? It was like he felt an unbearable urge to tarnish everything that had a shine to it.

“I know,” Eren said gently, and I realized that I was _shaking_ with anger. “There’s nothing we can do about it right now. Six months before you can change how things are.”

I let out a deep sigh in an attempt to release all the pent up tension. It didn’t help much.

“Will you stay for awhile?”

I looked up into his eyes, his beautiful green eyes and nodded. “Yes.”

* * *

It must’ve been several hours later when the door opened, and Armin came in. His eyes were wide. I sat up from where I’d been laying with my head on Eren’s chest. “Armin, what’s wrong?” Eren sat up too.

He quickly swam over and got on the bed, looking at us. “I was going by Erwin’s office, and I heard the conversation coming from inside, so I stopped to listen.”

“Armin,” I groaned. “You know not to do that. You’ll get in big trouble if you’re--”

“Fire starters,” he said.

“Wait, what?”

“Erwin heard people talking, and they’re saying that they think there are fire starters left.”

“There… are?” I finally managed to choke out.

Armin nodded. “They aren’t for sure, but Erwin wants Hanji to put up a shield around the city and to try and track them down.”

“For real?” Eren asked. “You aren’t messing with us, are you?”

He shook his head. “No. It’s the truth.”

I was reeling. Fire starters. They were back. And Father was going to kill them _again_ . Couldn’t he just leave them alone? They hadn’t bothered him for years, and he _still_ wouldn’t leave them alone.

He was just a bully. A bully in charge of an army, and that really pissed me off.

“We can’t let him,” I blurted out. I looked at both of them. “We can’t let him kill them. They haven’t done anything wrong.”

“There’s nothing we can do, Jean,” Armin said. “We’re just servants, and you aren’t the king yet.”

I clenched my fist. “I know, I know. But… if we have the chance, we _have_ to do something.”

Eren chewed on the inside of his cheek and nodded. “Okay.”

Armin nodded too.

I flopped back on the bed.

“I think you should go to sleep,” Armin commented. “You’re welcome to stay here if you want to.”

I smiled faintly. “Thank you.”

Eren laid down on one side of me, and Armin rested on the other side of Eren. I rolled over and curled up, my head on Eren’s chest and my head filling with ideas of sabotaging my father.


	5. Jean

I woke up in the middle of the night and stared at the ceiling. The urge to move, to fidget, to do  _ something _ was strong. I sat up, and Armin mumbled something, snuggling closer to Eren. I scrubbed my hands through my hair. I was restless, and I didn’t know why. 

I moved further down the bed and slid off. Eren, being a light sleeper, lifted his head and looked at me through tired eyes. “Where’re you goin’?”

“Nowhere. Go back to sleep.”

He squinted and sat up on his elbows. “I don’t believe you.”

I sighed and perched on the edge of the bed again. “I don’t know where I’m going. I just… I have to go  _ somewhere _ . I’m…” I fidgeted for a few moments.

“Hey…” He wiggled out from under Armin and scooted closer to me. “What’s up?” He wrapped his arms around me from behind, perching his chin on my shoulder.

I rested my arms over his and played with his fingers. “I just feel like I need to do something. Like I need to…” I made a noise of frustration. 

He reached up and brushed some of my hair off my face. “Anxious?”

I nodded. “I don’t know what for, though. It’s like two in the morning. What do I have to be anxious or restless about?”

He chewed his lip for a moment. “Do you think maybe you want to get out of the palace? Getting out of here gave you a taste of freedom, didn’t it?”

I sighed. “I guess. I still shouldn’t be acting like this. I have no reason to.”

He didn’t say anything for a few moments, just stroked my hair in a comforting manner. “I know how you feel. You remember how it felt to be around all those people and none of them knew you. You were invisible, somebody on the sidelines but still in the middle of it all.” He smiled softly. “You’re like me. I get restless sometimes too. And I promise you that one day you’ll be able to go out there and see it again. You might not be as anonymous, but,” he shrugged, “it’ll be better than nothing.”

I shifted a little so I could face him more directly. “Alright,” I mumbled. The restlessness in my bones didn’t diminish, but it seemed to retreat to a bearable level. “You promise?”

Our eyes met, and I could see the sincerity swimming in them. “I promise.” I rested my head on his shoulder, and he brushed his fingers through my hair. 

“Maybe,” he began slowly, “we can find a way to get you out of here a few times before you become king.”

I lifted my head and looked at him. I was fully aware that it was stupid to get my hopes up, and he knew it too, but I wanted to get my hopes up. I wanted to believe that I would get out of here, even if it was only for another hour. “Really?”

He nodded and smiled. “Yeah.” His hand cradled my face. “Now would ya come to bed? I'm getting cold, and I'm tired as hell.”

“Alright, alright. Asshole.”

He grinned. “You haven't seen asshole yet. Don't make me show you this late at night.”

“Whatever,” I said, rolling my eyes with affection. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled us backward, so we flopped up by the head of the bed in a tangle of limbs, narrowly missing a peacefully sleeping Armin. “Don't be rude!” I exclaimed when Armin opened his eyes and sat up, obviously surprised.

Eren laughed. “Sorry, Armin.”

Armin rubbed his eyes and poked Eren. “Why aren't you guys asleep?” he mumbled tiredly.

“We were gonna have sex. You wanna join?” Eren deadpanned. 

Armin's expression seemed to darken. “Yes.”

Eren laughed and ruffled his hair. “I was kidding. Sorry.”

He swatted Eren’s hand away and made a face. “Aw. Don’t say that, meany.”

I gathered Armin into a hug. Have I ever mentioned that he's into sexual activities more than me or Eren? Because he is. You'd never guess it even if you knew him, but it was true. He literally couldn't keep it in his tail half the time. It was funny to tease him, especially when we were in front of other people--it was even better when said other people didn’t know why Armin would suddenly leave the room. 

He nestled close and rested his head on my shoulder. I smoothed his hair and leaned back next to Eren who scooted close on the other side of Armin. Armin sighed happily and fell asleep in minutes. It took me much longer, but Eren stayed up with me. He reached across Armin and brushed his fingers through my hair, absently twisting his fingers in the strands which was  _ not _ helping me get to sleep at all. But soon enough sleep won, and my eyes drooped shut.

I didn’t dream of anything, like usual. 

* * *

Approximately nine hours later, I was ready to rip my hair out. 

“Jean, are you listening?” my tutor Miss Diamont asked me. I could tell she was getting worn down. This was the third time we’ve gone over the other kingdoms. I still didn’t see why I had to know exactly where they were, how far away they were from here, and how big they were. I was always gonna have a map--I know Father had several in his desk, and there were three almanacs in the library, where we were now. Call me an ungrateful, spoiled, rich kid or whatever, but this was fucking ridiculous. 

“Yeah, I am, I’m just not comprehending.” This whole thing made me upset. I was perfectly fine in all my other subjects--passing with flying colors, might I add--but make me memorize all these numbers, and my grade turned into the Titanic. 

She sighed. “Maybe we should take a break and work on something else. 

I nodded. “Like my ability?”

All merpeople had one. They showed up between the ages of twelve and sixteen. Some of them were super noticeable or different like the fire starters or Eren--he was able to feel other people’s emotions. Others didn’t stand out quite as much, like Armin could literally read a book and retain and understand every fact from it without having to study or read it twice. It wasn’t a photographic memory thing, but it was pretty damn close. 

Mine was more complicated. Mostly because it didn’t exist. Yeah, that’s right. We still didn’t know what mine was. I had an affinity for health and other medical issues, but I blame that on spending too much time with Hanji when I was younger (she liked to bring me books and supplies to make potions, ointments, and salves, and she even gave me a medical kit that I’ve kept well-stocked since I was ten). There was no such thing as somebody without one except for me. I was some weird, jacked-up, cosmic exception. It sucked. 

Miss Diamont huffed. “Jean…”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I don’t have one.” I threw my head back and rubbed my face. 

“It’ll come. Just be patient.” 

I sighed. “Okay.” I sat up more and looked at the baby grand piano in the corner of the room. It’d been there for as long as I could remember. It had been found in a sunken ship, and somebody had taken the liberty to fix it up--they even found a way to modify the pedals, so they could be used too. Now, it was here. 

“Yes,” she said, looking between me and the piano.

I smiled sheepishly and darted over to it, settling on the piano bench. My fingers hovered over the keys, debating what to play. Since it had been here forever, and I got bored easily, I taught myself how to play. It was a nice way to relax when I was stressed about Father, studies, or anything else. It also helped me pass the time. Eren wouldn’t admit it, but we all knew he liked to sing along with my playing. 

I first started with major scales, going around the circle of fifths. Unable to decide what to play, I picked up a random book from on top of the piano and opened it to a random page. It was Sonata in B Major by Liszt. Obviously, I didn’t play it at full speed--there were some pretty intense parts. It was funny as hell though going up and down, my fingers fumbling all over the place like ten little fish out of water. I played a few runs before going back and working them out until I got it. I only managed to do a page or two, and the tempo was slow, but by the end of it, I was grinning like an idiot. 

“That was very nice, Jean,” Mom said from behind me.

I turned around and looked at her sheepishly. We both knew that Father would rather I be doing something else besides “wasting my time on the piano”, but Mom managed to convince him to let me do my own thing somehow. 

“Thanks,” I said, ducking my head and rubbing the back of my neck. 

She smiled and leaned on her elbow against the piano by the soundboard. I looked at the keyboard and poked a few more notes out. “I came to remind you that Historia is going to be here in a few weeks.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I remember.”

Historia. She was my betrothed, but it wasn’t like I was bitter about it. Okay, maybe a little--actually a lot--but I was glad that it was her out of everybody. We’d been friends forever, and she was like my little sister. 

Mom reached out and ruffled my hair affectionately and straightened up. “Have a good rest of the day if I don’t see you at dinner.” She kissed my forehead, and I let my eyes close for a moment. She pulled away and smiled gently at me again before she left. 

I was allowed to finish another page before I was forced to memorize more kingdom stats. Luckily, all my hair remained on my head. 

* * *

I was finally released to do whatever the hell I wanted after what felt like days. I managed to get over half the kingdoms memorized, thankfully. 

I played a few more pages in that song on the piano in an attempt to calm my frazzled nerves. It worked for the most part, but I had to stop when I started getting frustrated with my fingers for not working like I wanted them to. I was simply too tired to focus anymore. 

I plucked a book from one of the shelves and headed to my room. I took my time, surreptitiously looking for faces that I actually wanted to see--Eren, Armin, Sasha, whoever. I didn’t see anybody at all, to my disappointment. I sighed and opened the door to my room. Nobody in there either. I flopped on the bed and fed the fireflies in the lamp hanging from the corner of my bed some seaweed, and they lit up, casting the room in a soft, warm glow. 

It turns out I’d grabbed some sort of diary. I guess I must’ve really been out of it to have grabbed it. It was the size of a normal book but a water-logged strap of leather kept it shut. I knew Mom wrote in a diary often, but this was too old to be hers. As of recently--with recent being a relative term--we’ve just started soaking human books and other paper documents in a waterproof solution for us to use. Before that, we had actual scribes that would copy everything down on our own form of paper. It was quite tedious, to be honest.

I turned the book over in my hands a few times before I decided to open it. Written in the front cover in strict, bold handwriting was the name Jean Kirschtein. I squinted at it. That was written way before I was born, so I couldn’t have written it. Not to mention, that wasn’t my handwriting.

I flipped to the first diary entry. 

_ Dear Abigail, _

_ My ability has finally been discovered today! I am excited as are my sister, brother, and parents. It isn’t much to brag about. It’s the ability to form bubbles of air like my sister. I’m not complaining since we finally know what it is, but it would’ve been nicer if I’d had the ability to heat things up or endless confidence. _

_ My birthday is in a few months, and I don’t think I am ready. I do wish to marry you, but I don’t know about my coronation. I’m not ready to lead these people. What if I can’t be the leader they want? I just don’t know.  _

The entry went on as this Jean 2.0 described his insecurities, and they sounded suspiciously like mine. His father kept telling him that he didn’t think this Jean could do it the right way. He loved his fiancee, but he didn’t love her in the same way, and she obviously knew. I was assuming that this Abigail chick was his betrothed by the way he spoke to her.

After I started reading, I couldn’t put it down. I didn’t realize how late it was until Armin came in with a plate of food. I blinked and set the book down after marking my page. “Hi,” he said sheepishly. I moved over and made room for him. He sat down next to me and tucked himself under my arm. I rubbed small circles into his shoulder. 

“How late is it?”

“It’s already past seven,” he replied. “Have you been reading this the whole time?” He gestured to the diary.

I held it out to him. He took it from me and inspected it curiously. “Yeah. I found it in the library.” I flipped open the front cover for him to see the name inscribed in it.

“Jean, why is your name in here?” He looked up at me.

“I don’t know.” I ran my fingers over the letters. This person presses down hard when they write--the pages have indents three pages deep. “It’s super old, though. This person--this Jean--couldn’t have known me.”

He tapped his chin thoughtfully as I started picking at the food he brought me. “Maybe you were named after somebody?”

“Probably, but I’ve never heard of our family tree having another Jean.” I fingered the edges of the curled pages. “I’ll have to check it out.”

He opened to where I stopped, over halfway through. No feat, considering it must’ve been over two hundred pages thick. No joke. “You’re pretty far,” he commented. “What was he like? Do you know?”

“Yeah. He’s... a lot like me, actually. It’s uncanny. He’s almost exactly like me. He had a nice father that grew corrupt, except his was obsessed with money. His ability came really late too--his family didn’t think it would come at all.” I looked at him. “Armin, everything I’ve read matches my life. It’s... it’s beyond coincidence.”

He chewed his lip. “I’m not sure what to say about it. Are there more?”

I shrugged and ate some more. “I’m not sure. I wasn’t paying attention. I just grabbed it.”

He nodded. “We’ll figure it out. I’m sure Eren will help too, even if he’ll do something stupid.”

“Hey!” the green eyed devil himself whined when he came through the doorway. “Rude.” He flopped down on the bed, belly up. “I don’t deserve this kind of abuse.” He looked at us upside-down, lacing his fingers over his torso.

I snorted. 

Armin reached out and flicked his nose. Eren captured his hand and left kisses on Armin’s wrist. “Jean found a really old diary written by Jean.” 

Eren furrowed his eyebrows and flipped upright. “Come again?”

“Make me,” I muttered. 

Eren stuck his tongue out at me, and Armin smacked my arm, his face an endearing shade of pink. “Jean found a diary in the library written by another Jean that just so happens to be exactly like him.” 

He held it out to Eren who started skimming through it. He was silent for a few moments as he read. “Hm. That’s... Wow. Maybe it’s telling the future?”

“No, I don’t think so,” I replied. “I don’t have a brother or a sister, and everybody else’s names are different.”

He chewed on his lip for a moment, squinting in thought. “I’ve got nothing.” He took my hand. “We’ll check your family tree, okay? Kirschstein isn’t exactly a common name.”

I nodded. “Okay.”

“But first...” He snagged some of the food off my plate to Armin’s squawk of protest and fluttering fingers.

I rolled my eyes. “Didn’t you eat?”

He stole some more. “Yeah, but I’m a growing man; I get hungry often.”

“Oh, ho!” I chuckled. “Man? You’re a man now?” I raised an eyebrow at him and rested my chin in the palm of my hand.

“Yes, I am, and it would do you good to remember that.” He wrinkled his nose in my direction, and I couldn’t help it. I leaned forward and kissed his forehead tenderly. Sometimes he was just too cute.


	6. Hanji

We spent about an hour going through the diary before going to sleep. I didn’t have any studies the next day, so I planned on going back to the library to see if I could find the others. Assuming they existed, of course.

I woke up before the others for the first time in a long time. Eren’s face didn’t look sharp or sarcastic when he was asleep, I noticed yet again. If you didn’t know him, you’d think he was simply a sweet, beautiful, siren boy.

I snorted. Sweet my ass. He had a stubborn streak a mile long, and he would walk all over you if he had a reason to. Sometimes that made him an idiot. Like the time he fought with Ymir last year and nearly had his face beaten to a pulp. If Historia hadn’t gotten her to back off, he would have been much worse. As it was, he had two broken ribs, a major concussion, a broken wrist, and there were cuts and bruises all over him. Not to mention that he didn’t wake up for three days. Scared the shit out of me.

All of that because Ymir told him he was a pussy that took it up the ass.

I was less than pleased with their behavior, but truth be told, I would’ve done the same thing if I hadn’t been taught to keep my temper in check. That was one of the things I hated about being a prince--I couldn’t have it out with people that pissed me off like Eren could.

Armin shifted around and hugged my arm, squishing his cheek against my bicep. I smiled softly down at him. He looked as adorable as ever when he was asleep. The irony amused me. He was always so cute and mild when, in reality, he could kill me without a second thought. It never failed to amaze me how a predator could be so… domestic.

I mean, sure, he had a penchant for sucking on mine and Eren’s skin when he was sleepy, and yeah, he goes to the kitchen and drains the fish before they get cooked to sustain himself between feedings, but he was still really tame.

His self-control was incredible too. We used to have to pry him away from whatever he was feeding on, but he learned to control himself to the point that you only had to poke him in the side, and he would drop it with a sheepish smile. Now, he pulled away without having to be reminded.

I fondly ran a hand through his hair. He may seem young and adorable--naive--but he’s mentally stronger and smarter than anybody else I’ve ever known.

He woke up about half an hour later, stretching and nearly hitting me in the face. I spluttered, and he chuckled tiredly before scooting farther up the bed to tuck himself under my arm. He rubbed his eyes. “What time is it?”

“I don’t know,” I hummed, brushing his hair from his face. “Early.”

He stuck his tongue out. “Wow, you’re a lot of help.”

I snorted, realizing he’d switched to female. She was always particularly feisty. “I aim to please.” I poked her in the ribs.

“Tell that to my last unfinished orgasm.”

I opened my mouth and stared, pretending to be hurt. “Okay, wow. That was rude as all hell. I am so offended right now.”

The little shit had the audacity to _laugh_. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” she giggled. “Both of you take very good care of me.”

“Um yes, we do, little miss.” I ran a finger down the bridge of her nose. She wrinkled her nose and swatted at my hand. “If anything, you get more than the both of us combined.”

A blush swept across her nose, cheeks, and ears. “I do not!”

Eren shifted around. “Yeah, you do,” he replied, his voice still gravely and soft with sleep. He held Armin’s waist and buried his face in her neck. “Not that we’re complaining. I mean, have you seen your--”

“Okay, okay, I get it, _alright,_ ” Armin exclaimed, her blush getting darker by the second.

Eren and I both started laughing, and even Armin had to giggle too. We spent more time in bed just talking--well, Armin was being a feisty little thing, and Eren and I were being just as brassy back--before we heard other movement in the palace. The two of them got up and, I pecked them both on their cheeks before they left.

I wasted no time in going to the library--breakfast would have to wait. Nobody was in there when I entered, so I took my time scanning through the shelves to find another diary. We didn’t have much of an order in the library, to be honest. If books were part of a series, they were put together. I’d tried to organize all of them when I was younger, but I could only get a few shelves done before the day was over.

I spent several hours scouring through books of all different sizes and thicknesses, colors and ages. I didn’t even get through half of the books we had. I worked through the day, stopping every once in awhile to tickle the ivories when I was getting particularly bored.

It must’ve been late in the afternoon when one of the doors opened and Hanji came in. I was sitting on the floor, skimming through some volumes on the bottom shelf. “Oh, hey,” I said, not bothering to get up.

She looked down at me. “Why are you on the floor?”

“Oh, you know. Just trying to catch a cool current.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re always cold anyway.”

I laughed. “Yeah, I know.” I slid a book out part way, so I knew where I ended. “Can I ask you something?”

She crossed her arms and leaned against a bookshelf. “Yeah, shoot.”

“Have you ever seen any really old diaries in here? Or ever heard of a Jean Kirschtein that isn’t me?”

“Hm… I might’ve heard of an old Jean Kirschtein. Pretty sure you were named after him.”

I rolled my eyes. “I gathered that, thanks.” She just laughed at me. “Diaries?” I prompted.

“I know there was a ton of extra books a while ago, and your parents wanted to get rid of them, so I took them. I haven’t even gotten to look through all of them yet, there’s that many. I’ll check them and bring them in if one of them is a diary by Jean Kirschtein.”

I nodded. “Thanks.”

“So other than the name, why do you care about this guy?”

“Am I not allowed to be interested in my genealogy?”

She laughed and sat down in front of me. “You have never been interested in your heritage before now.”

I sniffed indignantly. “Well, I’m starting now.” Pause. “Mostly because Jean didn’t have an ability either.”

“Ah, I see.” She leaned back against the bookshelf and stretched her tail in front of her. It was a brilliant ruby red. For survival, all merpeople were born with dull tails, even the sirens. It made it easy for the little ones to hide if they were in danger. Once puberty hit, we shed our scales, and vivid colors grew in to help with attracting a potential mate. This was usually the longest process out of all of our changes. I was still picking some rust-colored scales out of my tail when I got bored.

“You know your ability will come when it’s supposed to. There’s no use fretting about it.”

“Hanji,” I groaned, dragging her name out. “I’m a prince. How lame is it that I don’t have an ability.”

“I wouldn’t say _lame_. You’re just… a late bloomer. An abnormally late bloomer.”

“A freak.”

She sighed. “You aren’t a freak. You’re just different. It’ll take time, but you _will_ find it.” She shrugged. “Who knows? You probably already have it, but you just don’t know it already.”

I let my head fall back against the shelf, suppressing the urge to wince at the contact. “Yeah, okay.”

She patted my shoulder sympathetically. I appreciated the gesture, but I still hated being pitied. “So what about you? Why are you here?”

Long sigh. “I wanted something to read before I went home. It’s so boring having nothing to do.” She rubbed her eyes.

“Does Levi not see you anymore?” I prodded.

She glanced over. “Not really, but I know it’s because he’s always busy here. It can’t be helped.” She fiddled absently with the small ring on her pinky. Her engagement ring. Originally, if a guy was going to propose to a girl, he’d have to go kill something and make some form of necklace out of it to show that he’d be able to provide for her if they did get married.

Thankfully, we didn’t have that tradition anymore, deciding to go with a simpler custom like humans. Hanji’s ring, however, was made from a bone of some sort, and it had a small pearl set in it. It was clearly made by hand, and it must’ve been a bitch to put together. There wasn’t a scratch on the pearl anywhere. He’d obviously put a lot of work into it.

I sighed. “Yeah, I guess. You do know that he just wants to keep you safe, right?” She glanced sideways at me and squinted. “I heard your conversation last night,” I supplied.

She slid further down, almost all the way to the floor, and rubbed her face. “You heard all that?”

“Not _all_ of it, just most of it. And don’t do that--it’s bad for your neck.”

She slid the rest of the way down. “Did anybody else hear?”

“Just Eren.” I could imagine him already if he heard me. _Just Eren? What do you mean, just Eren? I am_ the _Eren, thank you very much!_ It brought a small smile to my face despite the situation.

“Don’t worry about me,” she insisted, but her voice seemed to waver. “I’ll be fine.”

I shifted around to get comfier. “You’re like my aunt, and I guess that makes Levi like my uncle in some weird, awkward way, so I kinda do have to worry about you. Both of you.”

She smiled faintly. “I appreciate the offer, but you really don’t have to. There’s nothing you could do anyway.” I made a face at that. “Besides, Levi? Your uncle?” She started laughing. “There’s no way.”

I shrugged. “You never know. He doesn’t seem like the parenting type, but maybe he’s got a warm, loving, paternal attitude beneath his dark and brooding facade?”

She snorted ungracefully. “I can confirm. He gives the best hugs. Especially since he’s so tall; it’s like he totally encompasses me.” She started giggling.

I laughed too. It’s a good thing we live under water, or he’d be asking you to reach things on the top shelf all the time.”

She covered her mouth to stifle her loud laughs. “Jean, hush! That’s mean!”

“But true!”

“Yeah, you’re right.” She cleared her throat and got up. I stayed where I was and looked up at her. “Thanks. I’ll see you soon, hopefully. I have to get home before it gets dark.

I nodded. “Alright. Be safe, and Hanji?”

She turned around from where she was headed out the door. “Hm?”

“Show Levi who’s boss.”

She rolled her eyes and grinned. “Oh, wow, why didn’t I think of that?”

“No, really. Just remind him of why you’re together in the first place, and even though it’ll hurt both of you, if he doesn’t plan on marrying you after my coronation, then you need to break things off. It isn’t good to be strung out like this.”

She sighed and looked down, and I knew she was considering my words. “Night, Jean.”

“Bye, Hanj. I’ll see you later.” She left before either of us said anything else.


	7. Levi

“Jean, for real, you need to eat something. It’s been a full day,” Armin said--again--from where they were leaning against the bookshelf next to me. They’d come in and had been pestering me about taking care of myself for the past fifteen minutes. “I can see your hands shaking.”

I turned myself, so they couldn’t see my hands. They _were_ shaking, and I was getting that weird jittery feeling I get when I really need some food in my system, but I wasn’t about to admit that. “I’ll be fine, Min.” I slid another book out. I was almost done with the last shelf. I was _so close_. “Just let me finish. I’ll be down in a minute.”

I heard a huff. Several seconds later there was a sharp tug on my ear. “Hey, let go!” I exclaimed, knowing that they’d already won this round. Once Armin was determined, there was no changing their mind.

“No,” they said firmly, tugging me out of the room. “You’ve been doing this all day, and you need a break.”

I tried to wiggle out of their grasp, but the more I squirmed, the harder they held my ear. “Miiin,” I whined. “Let me gooo.”

They shook their head. “Not until you get some food in you.”

And they were being totally serious too. They didn’t let go even when we got to the kitchen. It wasn’t until Sasha placed food in front of me--after laughing at resigned state, of course--and I ate quite a bit did they let go.

My hand flew up and massaged my ear. “Fuck, Min. That hurt!”

She--now she; I hadn’t been paying close enough attention to know which gender they were, but I guess I should’ve known--put her hands on her hips. “If you’d listened to me this wouldn’t have happened, so it’s _your_ fault.”

I grumbled. She was right, of course, but I was way too bullheaded and stubborn to admit to it, and she knew it. Still, it was a good thing it was her and not Eren. Eren wouldn’t have let me stay there as long as she did, and he would’ve probably grabbed a fistful of hair and yanked. Then on top of all that, he would’ve made me admit that he was right.

So I guess her leaving a hole in my ear was actually a blessing in disguise.

Sasha leaned against the counter across from me, a big grin on her face. “He showed _you_ who’s boss,” she laughed. For being almost twice my age, she sure acted like a child sometimes.

“She,” I corrected.

Sasha waved a hand. “Regardless, _she_ seems to have all the authority over you. We all know who’s _really_ going to be running the kingdom,” she joked.

I opened my mouth to protest, but Armin sat on the counter right next to me and grinned. I gaped for a few more moments but finally opted to stay silent. She was right.

Mostly.

“Yeah, yeah,” I grumbled. I shoved some more food in my mouth, so I wouldn’t have to say anything else.

Armin just laughed at me. “That’s right. You just hush and eat.” When I started mocking her under my breath, the smacked the back of my head. “Don’t be difficult.”

“ _I’m_ not being difficult--you are. You wouldn’t let me finish.”

“Well, if you’d gotten some food earlier in the day, we wouldn’t have this problem, now would we?”

I grumbled again. “No.”

She leaned forward and very, very softly kissed my cheek in such a way that caused a blush to heat my face up. It was strange how she could go from totally demanding and sassy to sweet and soft so fast. What was it humans were saying now? 0 to 100 real quick?

The door behind me opened again. I turned around to see Levi coming in. I guess I wasn’t totally surprised since he does eat--it’s weird to think about Mr. Stoic doing such mundane things--and sleep--barely--but he was always doing stuff for my father. I guess even the busiest people need to take a breather every once in awhile.

Sasha pulled out some of the dinner she made and handed it to him. He settled on a stool and ate silently.

“So…,” I began, already regretting deciding to talk to him when his tired eyes shifted to me. “You and Hanji.”

“What happens between me and Hanji isn’t your business, Jean.”

Okay, ouch. “N-no, not like that. I just noticed that she seemed really sad when she does come to the palace, which isn’t very often. She used to be over here all the time, you know? Or you were over there. And I can tell that she misses seeing you, a-and she still kept the ring, and I really think…”

He raised a disdainful eyebrow. Shit. I was rambling.

“What I’m trying to get at is she’s like family to me, and I hate to see her so upset. I don’t know if it’s something that happened between you or what, but she’s always been happier when she’s around you.”

He seemed to debate my words for a few moments before facing me and crossing his arms. “Do you fully understand why I’ve been distant from her for the past couple years?”

I bit my lip. I really should’ve just let this go. “No…”

“If you don’t know what’s really happening, then you should leave it alone.”

I pursed my lips. “What is there not to know? Tell me, Ackerman, what I’m missing.”

He shook his head. “I’m not involving you in this. You don’t want to even know, and if I tell you, somebody is going to die. Erwin has made that very clear to me.”

He couldn’t… He couldn’t possibly mean that Erwin would kill him, did he? Levi’d been here for as long as I could remember. Even though I didn’t see him all the time, him being gone-- _gone_ gone--would be disorienting.

He didn’t give me a chance before he ate the last of his food and left. Sasha looked at me, her face showing that she also thought I should’ve just let it go. I sighed and let my head fall on the counter. What was even happening? First, the diaries, and now this.

Armin rubbed my back and rested her cheek on my shoulder blade, and I took comfort in her. She really was the palace’s best cuddler.

I turned and she crawled into my lap, curling up into a little ball against my chest. I smoothed her hair and rested my head on hers. I could see Sasha watching curiously as she cleaned up the kitchen. It was a rare sight to see me being blatantly affectionate in public. I was a private person most of the time. That and I didn’t want anybody to snitch to Father. The last thing I wanted was for my best friends to be sent away or hurt because of me.

Right now, however, it felt like a really good idea to let Armin snuggle against my chest. She seemed to agree by the way she relaxed in my arms. We rocked back and forth for awhile, just being there with each other.

Sasha finished what she was doing, and went out the door to give us privacy, but on the way out, she almost ran into Eren. “Oh!” she exclaimed.

“Sorry, sorry,” he replied, obviously distracted and excited about something. Armin poked her head up and looked over my shoulder curiously as Sasha laughed and shut the door behind her. “Jean. Jean, Jean, Jean.”

My face was soft with affection at his excitement. He was like a little kid sometimes. He would find something and get excited, and he’d want to show us all what he found or figured out. Frankly, it was adorable how his eyes lit up. “Yeah, Cuttlefish?”

“Your dad is gonna be gone for a few days to do some stuff before Historia gets here.”

“Yeah, so?” This wasn’t anything unusual. He tended to go to other kingdoms to discuss trading matters and keep peace with them. He may have been a shitty husband and father, but he really was a good king.

“So? So that means we can go out.” He couldn’t keep the excitement off his face.

“Wait,” Armin interjected. “Like… _go_ go? Out into town?”

Eren put his hands on his hips. “No, Min. Like go to the bathroom. Of _course_ I meant to town.”

It took a moment to process what he was saying. Why the actual hell hadn’t I thought of this before? It was so obvious. If I snuck out at night, nobody would know. Dad usually required Levi to come with him--even though I wished he would give the poor guy a week off while he was gone--so I wouldn’t have to worry about him seeing and snitching on me. Plus, nobody really cared what I did and wouldn’t bother to tell anybody that I was gone. Hell, Mom might even help me.

I reached out and pulled Eren tight, not caring that I was squishing an indignant Armin. “Cuttlefish, you’re a genius!”

He made his gills flutter together quickly, making a purring noise. “I am?”

“Yes!” I hugged both of them. “You’re freaking amazing.”

He fucking preened, the little egotistical bastard. “Thanks.”

“So does that mean we can go with you?” Armin asked shyly as if she thought I would tell her she was stupid for asking.

“Well _duh_ ,” I replied. “You guys actually know where to go. I’m totally new to this. I’m going to need your help.”

Eren grinned. “We’ll show you a good time.”

I squeezed them tight. “You’d better.”

Little did I know that the night would end up being better than I ever imagined. The rest of the week, in fact. 


	8. Boys Night Out

“Are you really sure we should be doing this?” Armin asked tentatively from where he was looking at us through the window. Eren and I were already on the outside waiting for him. “Won’t one of the guards tell Erwin?”

“Babe,” I began. “The guards get drunk and gamble when he’s gone, remember?” Everybody in the palace knew it. They went home to their spouses and kids and actually had a good time. About nine to ten months after Erwin got home, there was always a curiously high birth rate. Can’t imagine why. “Plus Levi is gone, and nobody else has any reason to tell on us if they did see us.” _I hope._

He still looked unsure.

“Armin,” Eren piped up. “I’ll blow you later or something. Just come onnnn.” Leave it to Eren to be the one to tempt one of us with sex, I swear.

Armin rolled his eyes and scoffed, but his cheeks were pink. “Alright, alright.” He looked in either direction before coming outside. I could tell he was super nervous. “Let’s just go before something bad happens.”

I took his hand, and we swam towards town.

* * *

I was once again taken aback when we got to the middle of town. There weren’t as many people this time--probably because it was the day and night most had off--but there were still way more than I was used to. My grip on Armin’s hand tightened, and he brushed his thumbs over my knuckles in a soothing manner.

Armin’s and Eren’s eyes lit up once we were among the people. Eren was having a great time, looking around and pointing out things that weren’t there the last time he was out, rambling off reviews about the items in stores, and telling me and Armin to hurry up.

Armin also seemed to be having a ball even though he was much quieter about it. He tucked his hair behind his ear as he looked around at the buildings, his creamy skin glowing under the fireflies. His eyes were the warmest icy blue as he took in the sight of all the people around us calmly. A small smile danced over his lips.

He turned and saw me watching him. His cheeks and ears turned pink again. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

I raised an eyebrow slightly. “Like what?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Like I hang the stars in your proverbial sky.” He tucked his hair behind his ear again.

I bumped his hip. “Well, you kinda do.” It was my turn to brush my fingers over his knuckles. “You’re my Armin. The light in my dark. You’re like... the light guiding my way. My voice of reason when I’m being an unreasonable prick.”

Armin rolled his eyes, but he was smiling widely. “You’re never an unreasonable prick to me.”

I laced our fingers again. “Yeah, cause you keep me in line. One step...” I made a whip-cracking noise and motion, causing him to break into a fit of giggles. Mission accomplished.

“Hey, guys?” Eren inquired once he finally slowed down, and we were able to keep up with him. “Why is that one guy watching us?” He nodded his head in the direction of said person.

I looked over, and almost immediately his head lowered. I squinted. He was tall, bigger than me, with broad shoulders and a somewhat muscular build. Around his shoulders was a gray cloak. _My_ gray cloak.

Would it be appropriate to talk to him? I should probably apologize. My behavior last time was certainly less than pleasing. And I need to thank him again for hiding me. If those guards had caught me, I would’ve gotten worse than a talking to.

“He’s somebody I met the last time I was out.” I felt bad. I couldn’t even remember his name.

Armin nodded. Eren perked up. “Can we talk to him? Is he safe? He won’t rat us out, will he?”

“Um…” I scratched the back of my neck. “I guess we could talk to him. He hid me when the guards almost got to me.”

“Wait, you almost got _caught_?” Armin demanded.

I bit my lip and nodded. “Yeah…”

He punched my arm, not being able to put much force behind it with his small, thin arms. “Are you _stupid_? If they’d gotten to you, you probably would’ve been whipped before they took you to the palace--prince or no!” He teared up. “That _hurts._ I don’t want to see either of you go through that.”

I was a bit taken aback by his outburst. My gentle Armin mad? Unheard of. But then I remembered the one time Armin had been whipped himself. When he was little, he was out in town with his parents to help with things that needed to be bought with the palace. His father had paid for some fruit to eat--an apple imported from Above. He told Armin to go ahead and take it and run along, amuse himself for another twenty minutes or so.

Apparently, one of the guards saw Armin take it, but they didn’t see his father literally two feet away paying for it.

I still could remember tiny Armin clinging to his mother when they came in, rushing him to the infirmary. There were five gouges in his back, all of them still bleeding. Once Father heard about it, he went to see him as fast as he could. He was irate. Rules for punishment had been lax, but right after that, they tightened up. The guards that did it had ten lashes on their backs, and they served as an example: Anybody that was going to get drunk on their status of a palace guard and decide to harm anybody without knowing the whole situation would get worse than just ten lashes.

Armin still has those five scars on his back, but thankfully, they’re faint.

The rules were still the same, but some guards still felt the need to punish anybody looking too suspicious. Some even went as far as to frame them for crimes they didn’t commit to let out some steam. It was absolutely fucking ridiculous.

I reached up and ran a hand through his hair. “It was my first time, and I was reckless, but I’m going to be more careful.” I kissed his head. “I promise.”

Eren and I were his age when the incident happened. I remembered his parents being so upset over it. They even got into fights with each other from the stress it caused. When they started fighting, Armin would bury his face in his pillows and pretend he couldn’t hear them even though I knew he was fighting back tears. Eren and I stayed in the infirmary with him, especially when they started fighting. We’d talk to him and try to occupy him until things were okay again. Usually, it worked, but other days, he would literally burst into tears. Eren, surprisingly, was the one to wipe Armin’s eyes and kiss his head with a murmur of encouragement.

Armin hugged me tightly, and I smoothed his hair. Eren hugged him from behind and murmured soothing things again like he did so long ago. We hovered there, holding our little Min, not caring who could be watching.

“So…,” Armin began after we’d been hugging for quite a long time. “Can we talk to that guy? He keeps looking over.”

We all looked up and over at him. He had moved to a new stall and was buying something to eat.

“I mean, I guess,” I replied.

Eren decided that was good enough for him and immediately sidled up next to him. “Hi.”

“H-hi…,” he replied, his face suspicious. “Who are you?”

Eren threw an arm around his shoulders. “Friends of Jean-Bo over there.” He winked at me. I couldn’t help blushing. “Eren.” He stuck his other hand out.

Freckles shook his hand tentatively. “Marco.” _That’s_ right. Marco. His name was Marco.

Armin smiled shyly. “I’m Armin.” He reached out to shake too. Marco shook hands with Min, obviously a little more comfortable with him than Eren. “Thank you. For helping Jean. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to him.”

Marco smiled a little. “It wasn’t a problem. I don’t mind helping people out.”

Eren abandoned Marco for me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me close. I was slightly uncomfortable with the PDA, but I didn’t see any guards around, and nobody was looking at us like we should be smote. Slowly, I wrapped my arm around his waist, earning a big smile from him.

I reached out and buried a hand in Armin’s hair, lightly scratching my nails on his scalp. He tilted his head when my fingers reached the hair at the nape of his neck. It certainly wasn’t my imagination when I heard him purr softly. My insides started turning to mush. Purring was my absolute weakness, and they both knew it too.

Marco squinted between the three of us in confusion before shaking his head a little and turning to look at more stalls. I glanced between him and what he was looking at. He almost seemed like he was concentrating. “How much is one of these?” he finally asked, pointing to a bundle of packaged grapes. I didn’t get to hear the price, but his face fell. “Oh. Okay.” And he moved on to another stall.

I felt Eren jerk against me before he spun around. “Watch it!” he exclaimed to whoever ran into him.

“ _You_ watch it,” the guy replied with a glare. “Quit making googly eyes at your little boyfriends and pay attention to where you’re going.”

Eren returned a fierce glare of his own. He pushed himself closer to the guy until he was up in his face. “ _You_ ran into _me._ So that makes _you_ the asshole.”

The guy’s face darkened with anger. “What did you just say to me?”

“Ooookay…,” Armin said, pulling Eren back. He seemed reluctant but didn’t fight it. “How about we all just walk away.” He brushed Eren’s hair out of his eyes.

The other guy scoffed and went to a different stall. “Fuckin’ idiots,” he muttered.

Eren immediately tensed up. I grabbed his arm, and Armin and I started hauling him away even as he was yelling insulting comments.

Marco watched the commotion with curiosity, but now he followed us. “You can come over to mine for a little while until he cools off.” I thought I detected a hint of irony in his voice.

“That would be wonderful,” Armin replied before he went back to cooing in Eren’s ear. I nodded, and we followed Marco.

The house was the same as I remembered--mostly bare, cold, no fireflies. We got Eren wrestled onto the couch. I could practically see the water bubbling around him from anger. Armin curled up in his lap, and that seemed to help. He held Min close. “Did you hear him?” he grumbled. “Called us idiots.”

“You did call him an asshole…”

“So? He totally shoved into me on purpose.”

“Oh, I know, sweet baby,” Min replied, obviously hamming it up. He pressed a kiss to Eren’s cheek. “You told _him_ , though, didn’t you?”

Eren seemed to puff his chest out. “Yeah, I did.”

I watched them with amusement from the door, fighting the urge to shiver. It was still so cold here, and it was only going to get colder. Marco seemed to have remembered, and he handed my cloak back. “You left this.”

I took it and quickly wrapped it around myself. “You were supposed to sell it or something for food.”

“Oh. I wasn’t sure if you were going to come back for it or not. Besides,” he smiled, “I just got myself some fireflies.”

He opened his bag, and sure enough, a swarm of fireflies rested in his bag. He took them to the fireplace and opened the bag, speaking softly to them. They crawled out and happily rested against the walls. He pulled a small bundle of unpackaged grapes out of his bag and set them in the middle. The fireflies descended on them and ate to their hearts’ content. They lit up one by one a few minutes later, their heat slowly permeating the cold.

“Better,” Marco murmured to himself.

I tentatively settled on the couch next to Min and Eren. I was quickly pulled into their cuddling. Armin sat in my lap and started playing with my hair, and Eren rested his head on my shoulder.

Marco leaned against the wall near the fireplace and looked between all of us. He seemed confused by our behavior. Was he from a rural area? Did he not know about poly relationships? “You all seem very close.”

Eren snorted. “Having your dick in somebody else’s mouth tends to do that for you.”

My face got hot, and I was sure my skin was crimson. Armin was turning red too. Even Marco seemed a bit flustered. Armin smacked Eren’s chest. “Eren! Don’t say stuff like that!”

Eren was, of course, laughing his head off. “Why? It’s true.”

I pursed my lips and sunk down into the couch more. It really was true. We’d been together for almost five years now, so yeah, we’ve tried things. We haven’t actually had sex yet, but we’ve definitely experimented and found out what we all like. I won’t go into detail about who likes what, but Armin has the highest libido out of the three of us and gets... taken care of the most.

“S-so... all three of you are together?” Marco inquired.

We all nodded.

He slid down the wall and pulled his tail close to his chest, resting his arms on it. “Really? I’ve never heard of that.”

Armin tilted his head. “Gay relationships?”

“No, no, no. Multiple people.”

“Oh,” I replied. “Are you not from around here?”

Marco shook his head. “No. I mean, I was, but I left when I was younger and lived in really small towns ever since. I just moved back.”

Eren leaned forward. “Lemme teach you a thing or two,” he began.


	9. Hungry

Chapter 9

Eren was actually a really good teacher. He told Marco what nonmonogamy was and some of the types of relationships that it included like a V, a triangle, a square, and having a main and secondary partner. Armin and I threw in some side comments, but other than that, he did all the talking.

Marco listened attentively and asked questions when appropriate. This was a totally foreign concept to him. He must’ve been in a really rural area to have not even heard of this stuff. 

“So what would happen if one of you were to break up with one other person? Would it be a V then?” he questioned.

“Yeah,” I confirmed. “But that’s highly unlikely for us. We’ve known each other literally our whole lives and we live together.”

He tilted his head. “You live together? Where?”

“Around,” I replied vaguely. “Not in town.” It wasn’t technically a lie, seeing as how the palace was on the outskirts of town, and everything was built right in front of it. Behind the palace were actual homes instead of stores and apartments. 

“Oh.”

Armin crawled into Eren’s lap and curled up, closing his eyes. Eren shook the small blond. “You okay?”

Armin nodded and yawned. “I’m fine.” But he didn’t look fine. Now that I actually got a good look at him, he had some major bags under his eyes, and his skin looked less healthy than normal, a tell-tale sign of the need for blood.

“Hey, Min, when’s the last time you fed?” Eren asked, catching onto the same thing I was. 

He shrugged and buried his face in Eren’s neck. “I dunno,” he mumbled. “Last month?”

I nudged his chin up with my fingers to make him look in my direction. “It’s the thirtieth. Of November. You’re telling us you haven’t had any blood for over four weeks?” Other than my lip that he bit a week or two ago, which hardly counted.

“Yeah,” he replied reluctantly.

Eren held him at arm’s length. “Armin!”

“I’m sorry! I’ve been trying to take less.”

“There’s a difference between taking less and starving yourself,” I pointed out. “Besides, this isn’t like a drug that you have to stop eventually. This is for your health. Your whole species needs it.”

“I know, I know. I just… didn’t want to bother you, I guess.” He looked down.

Eren held Armin’s chin between his thumb and finger. “You are never going to be a bother. This is your well-being. We’re never going to tell you no when we know you need it.”

“Okay…”

He tilted his head. “Go ahead.”

Marco looked a bit concerned. “Won’t he end up hitting an important vein or artery there?”

I shook my head. “He’s studied the human anatomy enough to know where it’s okay to take blood from.”

“Oh.”

Armin nodded to Marco before turning back to Eren. He found a good place and sucked on the skin to bring more blood to the surface. Finally, he opened his mouth and let his teeth out, carefully biting Eren’s shoulder. A plus side about his teeth being so sharp was that it didn’t hurt too much when he bit down.

He drank slowly and deliberately. Too fast could put him into a sort of frenzy, causing him to take way more than needed, and too slow might make the blood clot up around the bite area. 

After a minute or so, he pulled away and licked the last of the blood away. He didn’t have super spit or anything, so the marks would still be there later, but it wasn’t that big of a deal. He closed his eyes and sat down in Eren’s lap again.

“Better?” Eren inquired, nudging him.

Armin didn’t answer. I tilted his head up to find him asleep. I guess he was full and happy. I kissed both their heads. “We should probably go.”

Marco nodded. “Well, my door is always open if you want to stop by. I don’t have anybody to visit me, being new and all.” His smile was small but genuine and a bit shy. 

I nodded. “Thank you again. We’ll keep that in mind. I’m sure we’ll end up coming to town again later on.” I was actually certain about that. Father was gone, and I was ready to roam around.

Eren got up and held our angelfish close to his chest. I took my cloak off and tucked it around him, causing him to shift in his sleep and sigh quietly. I couldn’t help but smile. He was just too cute. 

Marco held the door for us, and I thanked him again. Then, Eren and I swam out and headed for the palace again.

It seemed like the trip home was shorter than it was when we left even though I knew it wasn’t different at all, other than Eren had a boy sleeping in his arms. We snuck in just as easily as we snuck out, and I thanked the gods for it. The last thing I needed was to get caught by some goodie two shoes or a guard with a mean streak. 

Eren gently laid Armin down on my bed and curled up next to him. I pulled the covers back and made sure they were all warm and snug. “Aren’t you going to come to bed too?” Eren asked, his voice already drowsy.

I nodded. “I will soon. I have a test I have to study for tomorrow.”

He rubbed his eyes and nodded. “Okay. Don’t stay up too late.”

I rolled my eyes playfully. “Alright,  _ Mom _ .”

He laughed sleepily and fell asleep with Armin.

About ten minutes into my studying, I started falling asleep, so I went down to the kitchen. It was empty, and a lone lantern was still lit in the corner. I opened the icebox and rummaged around for coffee.

We had a trade system going on with certain trusted humans. Sirens would take potions to become human for a while, and they went up to the Surface to barter, trade, et cetera. The things we got from humans--coffee, fruits and vegetables, various meats--were specially packaged. Liquids came in different-sized pouches, solids came in air-tight packs for single servings and bulk. 

I finally found one in my sluggish state and coaxed the fireflies awake long enough to heat it up. It didn’t take very long, and soon, I was sipping it out of the nozzle on the pouch. 

That helped for about .2 seconds every time I took a drink. Caffeine never helped me and always put me to sleep, so it was no wonder that I fell asleep at my desk.


	10. Sasha

The next day dragged on and on and _on_. I slept in by accident and Armin had to wake me up, so I wasn’t late for class. I passed the test easily--I would hope so since I was up forever. My classes were shortened because of that stupid test, so I had a lot of free time. However, my fingers kept fumbling over the piano keys, and I couldn’t concentrate on anything I read. It was quite frustrating.

I finally gave up on trying to do anything productive and found Armin. He was cleaning up windows, so I decided to help. We finished at a decent time--mostly because we are screwing around the whole time like dorks--and went back to the library.

Min grabbed a book about Ancient Greece and settled on the floor by the couch. I skimmed through the books. By now, every title and cover looked somewhat familiar to me. I pulled out a random book and sat down next to my blond friend. He was already totally absorbed, blue eyes skimming over the words eagerly.

I rested my head on his tail and started reading. I was in that sluggish state where my brain was seeing the words, but it wasn’t processing them, just like earlier. I finally gave up and started tracing Armin’s scales and fins. They were iridescent in the light the fireflies cast. The shimmering pattern of scales made me sleepy, and when he started playing with my hair, I fell asleep.

When I woke up, I was alone again, but there was a blanket around me and a pillow beneath my head. I smiled to myself and sat up, pulling the blanket around me tighter. Covering my mouth, I yawned and got up. My belly rumbled almost instantly, and I realized I hadn’t eaten all day, so I went down to the kitchen.

When I got downstairs--surprise, surprise--Sasha was sitting at the counter, eating something she probably just got done making. She turned around when I came in. “‘Sup, Kirschtein.”

I shook my head affectionately and sat down next to her. “Is that any way to address your future king?”

She waved a hand and stuffed a shrimp in her mouth. “You aren’t king yet. Don’t get a big head.” She looked me up and down. “Your head keeps getting bigger in proportion to your body. You’re practically skin, scales, and bones, boy.”

“Oh, jeez.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m fine, Sash. Really.”

She poked my side. “You are not.” She got up and started fixing something up.

I set my head on the counter. Yeah, I was hungry, but now that I was being told to eat, I didn’t want to. I opened my mouth to protest, but she cut me off. “And before you say anything, I will literally shove this down your throat if you say no.”

“Fiiiine,” I groaned. I guess I could put aside my teenage rebellion aside to save my throat.

She nodded, pleased, and kept working. “So where’d you go last night?”

My face immediately felt warm. Oh, Perseus. This was _not_ going to end well. “What do you mean?”

She raised an eyebrow in my direction. “Kasa saw you three leaving.”

I blinked several times. Mikasa? If she saw us leave, then anybody could’ve seen us leave. It wasn’t that she was dumb or unobservant, but she usually kept her head down. A good idea too, considering how my father deals with people that even look at him the wrong way.

“Don’t worry.” She smiled reassuringly. “Only a few staff members know. Nobody told your mom or any snitches.” She started chopping something up. “She was trying to move something to clean up since she couldn’t sleep, and she looked for Eren to help her--what with him practically being her brother.”

I almost sighed with relief. I would certainly have to thank her the next time I saw her for not telling the whole world that I was a shitty son. “I see.”

“So what _were_ you doing last night? You took the whole entourage with you.” She dropped some food in a little glass container of fireflies. “That’s something I never thought I’d see: Jean Kirschtein sneaking his boyfriends out and willingly putting them in danger.”

I pursed my lips. When she put it like that, it made me sound like an idiot. “They wanted to get out too,” I replied, but it sounded lame. What if we _had_ gotten caught? I wouldn’t’ve been the one getting punished--they would have.

Thankfully, she didn’t push. “That’s understandable. They _have_ been cooped up in here almost as much as you have.” She threw the food into the heat. “I take it you’re going tonight too?”

I rubbed the back of my neck. “I’d like to, but I’ll probably end up falling asleep.” I gave a not-totally-fake yawn after that to emphasize my point. I guess I really was tired.

She nodded. “Well, if you ever need some extra help, I know Connie wouldn’t mind.” I caught the grin she threw at me over her shoulder. “He’s always had a soft spot for underdogs.”

I grinned back mischievously. “Oh, really? Is that why he decided to get with you?”

She snorted. “Wow, that was below the belt, kid. But if you really must know, yeah, that probably is why.”

One time, I caught Sasha drinking from Father’s personal stash of liquor--she’s the definition of a lightweight, I found out. I’d asked her why she was doing it. She’d seemed sad in the days leading up to that event, and I, the thirteen-year-old, thought I’d be able to fix everything. I hated seeing her so sad.

“We all have secrets,” she’d told me as she took another drink. “And life is just deciding who to share them with. The lesser of all evils.” She shook her head and gave me a sad smile. “I killed my sister and my mother, Jean.”

Of course, I was terrified after she’d told me that, but I stayed with her. She was such a gentle soul that I couldn’t believe it. Connie came in shortly after--it was late, and she hadn’t come to bed. I asked him about what she’d said, and he’d clarified for me. She blamed herself for the death of her sister and mother.

There was a sickness going around at one time that was fairly contagious while she was a young girl, but there was no cure then. She’d always been healthy, but her mom and sister had issues with their immune systems. One day, she got sick. Her mom cared for her like normal, and Sasha got better. Nobody thought anything of it.

Shortly after, her mom got sick with the same disease. The issue with her immune system made it hard for her to fight it off. Her sister soon got it too. The two of them struggled for a long time, and it looked like they’d be okay, but another wave of a different sickness came. The new sickness and the old sickness combined ended up killing the two of them on the same day.

“This would be the anniversary of their deaths,” Connie had said with a sad sigh. After we had both cleaned up the liquor, he took her to bed, and the three of us had never said anything else about it.

I got up and leaned against the counter next to her. “Aw, come on, Sash. He didn’t marry you just because you make people think you’re a lost cause. He adores you. He loves the way you look, talk, move, everything. You can see it in his eyes.”

She shook her head and set down her knife. “Jean, you can love a person more than life, but we all know that it would’ve been better off if he’d dropped me like an anchor let loose off a boat.” She sighed deeply and mixed up her concoction, probably just to do something with her hands. “We all know his mama hates me because I can’t give him kids.”

I chewed on my lip. It was difficult for mermaids to get pregnant. Nobody really knew why, but most blamed Poseidon for that one. Ever once in awhile, one would get lucky and be really fertile, but that didn’t happen too often.

Sasha was one of those people that had a hard time getting pregnant. A really hard time. She and Connie have been trying forever, but nothing happened.

“Sash,” came a voice from one of the doors. It was Connie. “Do you really think I care what my mom thinks?” He came in and leaned against the counter on the other side of her. He moved a few meters away. I was probably intruding, but I felt awkward moving at all.

“Yes,” she mumbled, looking up at him. “I can’t give you any kids, Con. You know that.”

He placed his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eyes. “I don’t care if you can’t give me kids. I’m not my mother. I love you for you.” He tilted her head up when she tried to look down. “Really, I do.”

She finally sighed. “Alright.”

He wasted no time in gathering her close. He was shorter than her but they still made it work. Probably because she seemed small and vulnerable, just like when I found her that night so many years ago.

* * *

I settled into bed a little while later, thinking about if I really wanted to go out again tonight, and if I did, did I want to risk Armin and Eren again?

As if on cue, Eren burst into the room. He flopped down on the bed next to me, looking at me with his begging, green eyes. “Can we go to town again tonight?” He gave me an endearing smile.

I ruffled his hair and chewed on my lip. “I don’t know, Cuttlefish.”

He sat up and tucked his tail under him as he looked at me. “Why? We don’t have that much time until your father gets back. For all we know, he’ll be back tomorrow.”

I took his hand and rubbed my thumb over the knuckles. “I know, I know. But I… I don’t think it’s a good idea to take you and Armin with me.” I bit my lip.

He seemed more than a little confused. “I don’t understand. Yesterday, you were all for this, and now you want to go alone? I want to get out too.”

I sighed. “I know that.” I rubbed my face. “I just don’t want to risk getting caught.”

Now, he seemed a bit hurt and still confused. “You think we’re a liability? That we’re going to get in your way?”

I processed what he said before it dawned on me. “Wait, no. I don’t think that. Eren, where are you going?”

He got up and headed towards the door. “To my room.”

I got up too and snagged his hand. “Eren, please. I didn’t mean it like that. Would you let me explain? Please?” I looked into his eyes earnestly.

I heard my heart thud several times in my ears as I waited for his response. He finally sighed. “Okay, fine. How did you really mean for it to come out?”

The first thing I did was bring him back to the bed and sit him down. “I meant that I don’t want to get you caught. Either of you.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “I realized that it was selfish to have you go with me last night.” Both of his hands were warm in mine. “What if we’d gotten caught? I wouldn’t be in any trouble--you two would. It was a stupid idea.”

There was a pause. “Are you saying my idea was stupid?”

I blinked. “What? No, that isn’t what I said at all. Did you hear anything I just said? I said that I didn’t want to have either of you caught.”

He freed one of his hands and held the side of my face. I leaned into his touch without thinking about it. “I heard everything you said, and I would agree with you except for one small detail.” There was a pause. “We won’t get caught. Like you said last night, all the people that would snitch on us were out getting drunk or laid.”

“I know, but--”

“No buts,” he said firmly. “We wanted to go with you last night because we wanted to go out and because we are a team. We _are_ a team, right?” He raised his eyebrows inquisitively.

“We are a team, but--”

He cut me off by holding my face on either side. “There is no way in hell that you are going to convince me to stay here while you’re out having a good time, so you either help me or you let me go by myself.”

I groaned inwardly. He could be so _stubborn_ all the time, but that was just him. He was stubborn and an ass, and I couldn’t live without him. “Fine,” I sighed. “But I don’t want you whining to me when we get caught.”

He smiled and pecked my lips. “Deal. Now come _on_. Armin is getting some food in case we see Marco again.”

We both got up. “Food?” I inquired.

“Yeah. Marco looked like he was hurting for money, so we decided that we are going to help him while we can.” With that, he swam out.

I shook my head and followed him and hoped my dad stayed gone for a long time. 


	11. Origin of the Species

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you got my Charles Darwin joke cause I'm a nerd.

We went to Eren and Armin’s room quickly and quietly. Luckily, we didn’t run into anybody. Nothing was said the whole way there, but I held his hand whenever I was certain the coast was clear.

Armin was sitting on the bed waiting for us with a small basket of food. He looked up and smiled when we came in. “It’s about time. I’ve been waiting forever.”  

I rolled my eyes. “Girl?” I inquired, just to be sure.

She nodded and flipped her hair over her shoulder--I don’t know how she did it since it really isn’t that long--impatiently.“Can we go now?”

Eren laughed and poked her side, causing her to soften and giggle. “Yeah, yeah, Blondie.” He snagged her free hand. “Let’s go.”

Instead of sneaking out the window like before, we went into the kitchen and left out the back. Connie told me before I left that it would be easier to leave that way. The guards normally left it alone since the servants went in and out that door mostly. He also told me that most of the guards were taking shifts to go out or home, and it wasn’t being watched tonight. Sometimes, it really did pay to have a guard as a friend.

“No fights tonight, Eren. Okay?” I glanced over at him before we merged into the crowd of people.

He waved his hand. “Yeah, yeah. No fights. I’ve got this.”

It didn’t take too long to get to Marco’s house. We took a wrong turn once or twice, but all the paths led to the center of town, and we found our way eventually. We entered the apartment building and found Marco’s door. I noticed a faint glow coming from underneath and felt warmth. He was home, and he had his fireflies going--good.

Armin knocked briefly before moving back. The glow under the door faded a little bit but stayed on. A few moments later, the door opened, and Marco smiled warmly at us. “Hi.” He bit his lip in a way that was strangely endearing. “I didn’t think you’d actually come again.”

Min waved a hand. “We said we would, didn’t we?” She smiled back at him.

The first thing I noticed was the temperature. It was much warmer than before. The fireflies were shining brightly in the fireplace and in a few places around the room, and there was something cooking over them. I breathed in deeply--lobster.

“Woah, it smells amazing in here,” Eren observed as he passed through the doorway. Armin and I nodded in agreement.

Marco waved a hand. “It’s just something I caught today. Not that big of a deal.”

“You caught it yourself?” Eren asked, looking over at him.

“Yeah,” he replied slowly. “I still don’t have much to buy food with, so I just went and got it myself.”

Eren looked impressed. “Kudos to you.”

I carefully perched on the couch. Was it not normal for people to go get their own food? I may be the future ruler of these people, but I obviously still had a lot to learn. What king doesn’t even know what their citizens do for food? _Great job, Kirschtein._

“Thanks,” he mumbled sheepishly. His cheeks were a light pink under all those freckles. It was… actually kinda cute.

Inwardly, I scolded myself. _Dammit, Jean. Now isn’t the time to be thinking about your awkward, bisexual tendencies._ I glanced at Marco again to find that the blush was still there. Okay, so he really was attractive. I wasn’t going to deny that fact. He had a nice figure, dark skin, and a fire orange tail with sleek fins along the sides, obviously meant for speed. His chest was broad and don’t even get me _started_ on the freckles covering almost every square inch of his body.

I totally wasn’t staring. Nobody noticed. I think.

“Here, Marco,” Armin murmured shyly as she handed the basket to him. “We brought you some stuff since you looked a bit hungry yesterday.”

Marco looked inside and seemed genuinely surprised. “Wow, thank you.” He smiled brightly at us. His teeth were perfectly straight except for a few small flaws. Even his slightly crooked smile was cute. “I really appreciate it.”

Armin blushed and smiled sweetly. “It’s no problem. We’re more than happy to help out.”

Eren and I exchanged a glance. She was laying it on really thick. I don’t think she’s been quite this sweet since… Well, my sixteenth birthday party. Needless to say, she was quite _sweet_ that day.

Marco set the basket down and settled on the floor, leaning against the wall. I started getting up. “Wait, we took your couch. Sorry.”

He waved a hand. “No, it’s fine. You’re the guests.”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded, and I let myself settle back down. “Where are you from?” he inquired. “If it’s okay that I ask.”

“I’m from the Hudson Bay in Northern Canada,” Armin piped up. “My parents were, anyway. Mom was already pregnant with me, and my grandparents didn’t like their life decisions, so they ran away and ended up here.” She shrugged. “I don’t remember them too much, but they did teach me how to speak French. They wanted me to know about my heritage and stuff.” Her voice grew a bit wistful. I knew it hurt when she talked about them since they skipped town. “I guess learning the language was part of that. They took me back to visit once, but we didn’t stay for very long.”

He nodded and didn’t press her about her longing tone. “What about you, Eren?”

Eren cleared his throat. “I’m from the Caribbean Sea. My parents left a while ago after the earthquake in ‘46. They ended up here about twenty years later after traveling the world.”

Marco looked amazed. “Wow, really? That sounds so cool. I’ve always wanted to go to the Rock Islands in Palau.” His eyes lit up in the most adorable way. “The waters are so clear. It’s amazing!”

Eren nodded. “Mom said they went there too, and it was extremely beautiful.” He shrugged. “I’ll never get there myself, but I think it’d be cool if you did.”

“Really?”

“Mm hm.”

Marco’s face practically glowed. He turned to me, lastly. “What about you? Where are you from?”

I rubbed my arm. Obviously, I couldn’t tell him I was the prince, or he’d treat me weird. Or worse yet, he’d start asking questions like, “Why are you sneaking out?” or, “Why haven’t I seen you before now?”

“Here.” I shrugged. “I’m a blend, but I’ve been here my whole life.” I’m not lying. Just for the record, if anything happens, and he finds out anything else about me, I never lied.

He nodded. “Do you know what your heritage is?”

“Yeah. On my dad’s side, I’m from the English Channel, Baffin Bay, and the North Sea. My mom’s side is from the Baltic Sea, Bay of Biscay, Coral Sea, Ross Sea, and several other places on both sides. My family is a big mix.” It kind of had to be since most of my ancestors visited a place on a political trip or vacation and ended up bringing home a spouse. Not to mention that my mom’s family had always been one to roam around the world.

Apparently, my great grandfather on her side was the first one to get sick of all the moving around, and he ended up staying in the South China Sea. Dad went there with his father to appoint a new person to lead the district since the previous person had passed away. As the story goes, Dad saw Mom working in the marketplace, he stayed to basically stare at her all day, and he wouldn’t go back home until she agreed to see him sometime.

If only things now were as nice as they were then.

“That’s… a lot,” he replied, looking a bit daunted.

I nodded in understanding. “What about you? Where are you from?”

He chewed on his lip thoughtfully. “I was from here when I was little, but um… something happened, and I moved away. I thought maybe it would be… nice to come back. My family is from one of the gulfs.” He cleared his throat.

Armin leaned against Eren, and he wound an arm around her. “Did you come alone?” she asked.

He shook his head and smiled sadly. “Yeah. My parents and sister died almost ten years ago. Mom, Dad, and Mira got attacked. I managed to get Mira out of the house, but I couldn’t save my parents.” He gave a small shrug like he was pretending it didn’t bother him. “The blood attracted the sharks, and… I couldn’t help her either.”

“O-oh,” Min said quietly. “I’m sorry I asked.”

He shook his head. “It’s okay. I’m sorry you had to listen to my sob story.”

Surprisingly, it was Eren who spoke. “We understand. Our parents left us.”

Marco looked at the three of us. “All of you?”

I started popping the knuckles on my right hand. Then my left. “Their parents did.” I couldn’t keep the bitterness out of my tone. “My parents didn’t leave. My father is dead.”

Eren and Armin both gave me looks with varying degrees of _What the fuck?_ Marco didn’t notice them and nodded.

I ignored my two smaller significant others. “Do you have any other family members?”

He seemed to shake himself and shed off the coat of sadness engulfing him for the past several minutes. “Yeah, I do. I’m looking for my aunt and uncle. I haven’t heard from them for a long time, so I thought I’d see how they were doing. They lived here the last I remembered.”

Armin--after masking her confusion with a somewhat sympathetic look--turned back to Marco. “I hope you find them.”

He smiled at her. “I hope I do too.”

She smiled back too but ended up yawning. I realized it was really late, and even the invincible Eren was looking sleepy himself.

I got up off the couch. “Thank you for letting us come over again, Marco. It was really nice of you.” I held a hand out.

He got up too and smiled sheepishly before shaking my hand. His was bigger than mine and warm, some small freckles dotting his fingers and the back of his hand. “It’s no big deal. It gets lonely here alone, so I’m glad you stopped by.”

I returned a smile of my own that I hoped didn’t show exactly how I felt inside--a bit mushy with butterflies swirling around in my belly like a prepubescent guppy. Holy hell, his hand was so warm, and his skin was soft, and he had a cute ass smile. “We might end up coming by a few more times soon.”

His smile got bigger, and he released my hand. “I’d love that.”

I bit my lip around my smile and backed up. Armin skipped the handshake and outright hugged him. He seemed surprised, but it wasn’t unwelcomed. He wrapped his arms around her tentatively like he was afraid he would break her, but he looked towards me and Eren while looking a bit scared.

Eren and I exchanged a look but neither of us said anything. I could tell Armin was especially enjoying her hug when I noticed her gills start vibrating gently. It wasn’t enough to make noise, but it she definitely was. If Marco noticed, he didn’t mention it.

She pulled back, and Marco looked at Eren. Eren settled for a simple wave. “Thanks, man.”

Marco nodded and smiled again. “Stop by whenever.”

“We will,” Armin said with a flirty--flirty!--smile as she swam out the door. Eren and I followed with Marco close behind.

I glanced behind me as the door was closing, and he was watching us intently with a longing gaze. I gave a little wave, and he bit his lip while smiling a little more. Damn, that was an awfully cute smile. He finally shut the door, and I hurried to catch up with the other two.

* * *

“What the hell was that, Jean?” Eren demanded once we’d gotten back into my room. None of us spoke much on the way home since we had almost grabbed the attention of some guards. After that, we’d formed a silent agreement of, well, silence.

“What was what?” I asked, hoping he’d just let it go.

“The whole thing about your dad being dead.” He put his hands firmly on his hips and looked at me pointedly. “He isn’t. He’s very much alive. Very, very much, if the last literal slap to the face wasn’t just a figment of my imagination.” If he had feet, he’d be tapping them.

I flopped back on my bed. “Does it really matter that I told Marco that my father is dead? What’s the harm?”

“The harm is he’s not really dead, and Marco is going to probably share some of his feelings with you because he thinks you’ll understand them perfectly,” Armin said from where she was perched on the window sill. “And when he finds out, he’ll feel played and deceived.”

I ran a hand through my hair. “He’s dead to _me_ , alright? Jeez…”

Nobody said anything.

“What kind of father hits his wife? What father beats his son’s friends? Not a good one, that’s for damn sure. If he were to be dead, it wouldn’t matter to me because as far as I’m concerned, he’s already dead. I _wish_ he were dead, so I wouldn’t have to tell anybody _I_ am related to him.”

The bed dipped down by my head, and Min replaced my hand, running her fingers through my hair much more gently than I was. “Don’t wish for any of your parents to be dead, Jean. For all we know he could change in the future. Yeah, he’s bad now, but he hasn’t left you. Our parents _chose_ to leave us.”

Aaaaand suddenly I felt like shit again. I really was a piece of ass to say something like that in front of them. I reached up and snagged her wrist. My eyes stayed on her big, pretty, blue ones as I left a small kiss on her wrist. “Sorry,” I mumbled. “I wasn’t thinking. Again.”

She kept brushing through my hair. “Just don’t say it again.”

I swallowed and nodded. My gaze trailed to her tail, and I traced some of her scales idly. “Okay.”

It stayed quiet for another couple minutes before Eren said, “Armin, do you like Marco?” His tone was curious.

Armin blushed immediately, but to her credit, she didn’t stutter like I would’ve. “Why do you ask?”

Eren and I exchange a glance. I looked back up at her and suppressed a grin. “Well, you were being extremely nice, you were batting your eyelashes most of the time--”

“Was not!”

“--you hugged him instead of shaking his hand, and you almost _purred_ when he hugged you back.” At that, I let my smug smile show through. “You like him.”

Eren laughed at Armin’s indignant look. “She isn’t the only one.”

In that moment, I felt like Bertholdt. He was one of the guards I was pretty decent friends with. Whenever he got nervous, he would sweat. A lot. Thankfully, we were under water, and it didn’t affect us much, but we could still tell.

Armin looked at me with raised eyebrows. “Jean?”

I pursed my lips. “Maybe a little.”

Eren barked out a laugh. “A little? The both of you were making the whole apartment stifling with emotions.” He sat on the bed behind Armin and started putting little braids in her her hair. “It was like you guys were a bunch of horny teenagers again.” Armin smacked his tail, and he laughed. “What? It was funny.”

Min squinted and pursed her lips. “You’re telling us that Marco had absolutely no effect on you at all?”

Eren shrugged. “He’s cute, but I wouldn’t have sex with him. I don’t know him. You know that.”

“Oh yeah. Sorry, I forgot.”

“It’s okay. I mean,” another shrug, “he _was_ attractive, but not like that.”

Armin and I nodded. I moved up to be further up on the bed.

“Do you think we can go again tomorrow?” Armin asked. She gave us what humans call “puppy eyes” and poked her bottom lip out.

“Only if you get some sleep. The last thing we need is a grumpy Armin.”

She huffed and crossed her arms. “When am I ever grumpy?”

Eren shook his head affectionately and wrapped his arm around you. “Never, Min. Absolutely never.” He buried his face in her neck.

I smiled warmly at them. As much as I loved getting and giving affection, I liked seeing them together too. They were cute. I was glad they had each other in the times I couldn’t be there for either of them.

Eren moved up to the pillows and pulled Armin close to his chest. She wasted no time in snuggling closer and holding his waist. Min had always been a bit sassy, and we all knew she could handle her own, but when she was curled up like that, she looked extremely small and vulnerable.

It didn’t take long for the two of them to fall asleep. I pulled the blankets over them and kissed their heads. When I pulled back, I saw a hickey on Eren’s neck behind his ear. A fresh one. I laughed and shook my head. _Min must’ve pulled Eren into a closet again today,_ I mused.

I pulled the covers back more and got in close to the two of them. It wasn’t long before the excitement of the day had my eyelids drooping, and I also fell asleep.

* * *

Marco looked up at the bland, white ceiling of his run-down, little apartment. He was having a hard time falling asleep, but that was nothing new to him. It was especially hard after the death of his family. He’d kept expecting to hear his father’s loud snores from down the hallway of his home along with his mom’s humming as she read until she fell asleep, but no. He didn’t hear any of the noises of his family because they were all gone. He couldn’t even stay in his house.

With nowhere else to go, he swam away. He hadn’t known where he was going at the time. Just _away._ He grabbed Mira and dragged her through the blood-filled waters. They managed to get away from the attackers and out to the open ocean when he realized he’d made a bad mistake. Mira was still bleeding, and she needed medical attention. Attention a nine-year-old couldn’t give.

Within what seemed like minutes, several sharks were headed in their direction. Marco was already tired from practically carrying his little sister, and when she stopped holding onto him, she slid out of his arms and into the jaws of several sharks.

The only consolation he had was thinking she was either already dead or passed out when they got to her.

He shook his head and rubbed his eyes before sitting up. Why was he thinking about that? And why now? It’d been almost ten years. He shouldn’t still be this sad about losing his family.

Then what even was with today? Marco was generally--read: always without exception--a private person, so why did he just admit to the three practically-strangers that he’d lost his whole nuclear family? That wasn’t like him. Was it because he was desperate to have a friend or to be close to somebody after years of solitude and isolation? Were they his friends? What would they do if they found out about…?

No, they wouldn’t. He wouldn’t let them. But now that he’d told them a big part about himself without even thinking twice, what else would he end up saying--or doing--with them around? The next thing he knew, he’d probably end up telling them he wished he’d died with the rest of his family.

He huffed and flopped back onto his bed again. Why was life so freaking hard?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, the chapter took so long to post. Half of my teachers decided to give us all big projects at the same time and wanted us to have them done before too-soon deadlines. *sighs* Anyway, I'm going on a hiatus for most of the summer (6 weeks), but I'm going to try and get another chapter for this in before I leave. Also, the song for this is Roots by Imagine Dragons.


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